Mr Advani continues to amaze November 26, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Project Management.Tags: 26/11, Advani, BJP
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Apropos :
Advani definitely can do a lot of rehabilitation post 26/11. We should give him Kasab and 5 more hardened terrorists whom he will take to Terror capitals ( Kandahar , Kabul) to negotiate with the master minds of 26/11.
What we should not give him is a return ticket. He will be delighted to have his grave near Jinnah ( He strongly adores) Jaswant wont mind giving him company there.
Sachin ithey parat Chookla ( Sachin has erred here again) November 17, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Films and other crimes by leading Indians, Humor, India, Literary, Nationalism, Satire.Tags: Biharis, Tendulkar . Mumbai
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I am not a big fan of Sachin and do not agree with him . Mumbai is not for Indians . Its for ,by and of Manooses.
Consider the following facts :
1. The non Manoos ( Ambani , Tata, Birlas , Wadias, Godrejs, Ruias , Hiranandanis) have done nothing more than dug grass here. The real wealth and skyline is created by Manoos.// We will get back who
2. The best support services (Taxis, Shops, Hotels etc) , though they may be 1-5 % are run by Manooses.
3. The Pride of Mumbai ( Movies) is all because there are Great Manoos actors /directors/ musicians.. Damn the names ( Kapoors, Johars, Vermas, Bachhans , Roshans, Rehmans, Kumars).. The movie should only feature Riteish Deshmukh and company
4. The Southies have made Mumbai dirty by selling Idli dosa , rasam and what not.. We must have only Vada pao for every one
5. The Underworld hegemony also needs to be changed.. We must ensure that some manoos is bigger Don than Shakeels, Dawoods , Rajans etc.. There is a lot of glamor in underworld and Sons of soil have the first right to it
Other should come in here only if Manoos have had their fill and are merciful. After all they have only developed the port (Britishers just claim credit), They have only taken out the black soil(Most suitable soil for cotton) from mother earth , They by their deep breath pull the monsoon here. Only Manooses in the SPG defended and freed the city from terrorists during 26/11 the non manoos soldiers had come on a luxury holiday trip and enjoted the pleasant breeze at Nariman point
B’day celebrations expiry date: ‘Best before 30yrs’ October 6, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Health, Humor, Rationality, Satire, Spirituality.Tags: Birthdays, celebration, Health, rituals
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We as humans are sometime so much driven by peer pressure into rituals and celebrations that we loose track of rationale of doing it. Let us take birthday celebrations. Earlier when medical systems were not advanced enough, an infant surviving mortality was an achievement. Pneumonia, Polio, Malaria or epidemics used to kill in large #s Thus every time scale conquered (1st day, 6th day, 1st month, 1st year) was a cause de célèbre . E ach year of survival was a cause to celebrate life and hence probably, the culture of Birthdays. The ritual done in childhood continued till adolescence , then to adulthood and finally till old age. There are some birthdays which are celebrated even after a person has died. Funny.

If we look at the way birthdays are celebrated, the feeling is more grotesque. Children dress up like clowns, balloons are hung. Lights are blown away (Extinguishing fluttering candle light is often symbolic of a soul struggling and finally leaving human body). This then should mean that on you 30th birthday 30 units of soul have left you( Blown away by you). There are people clapping and singing and you should feel happy (??). Happy about loosing life and singing the stupid Birthday song in English irrespective of your linguistic skills. Then they rub that cake on to your face to start consuming some of the unhealthiest food on earth. Whipped cream topping (100% fat), sugared bread ( Very High calorie), Samosas( Deep fried), Soft drink( Every 100 ml contains 10 ml of sugar). Its not good when you are a kid and dangerous if you are an adult with a desktop job.
If we look at the age perspective, childhood gives you the onus to grow ( gain independence) , teenage prepares you to puberty( Be able to reproduce) , Early 20s give you a path to reach peak of your physical strength and capacity. Biologically you are at peak when 25. Then you are on a plateau and you start dreading what each year of age does to you physically. Sporadic greys start appearing on head, hairlines start receding, balding often sets in . After 30 every year you loose 2.5 % of your bone mass and 3.5% of muscle. Cavities in teeth need occasional filling. You tend to be moving from: Running to Jog to walk now. Forgetting becomes more frequent than remembering .Does this call for Happy birthdays ?
If yes ,be the clown and jump like clown, distribute sweets. If No, reassess!!!! Birthday celebrations are best before you hit 30. Life on the other side of 30s is not that great unless you make real extra efforts. Think !!!!!
5 most disgusting things Congress has done recently September 29, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in India, Leadership, Nationalism.Tags: Congress, Disgrace, India, Politics, Shame
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Politics is venal. Reams of newsprints are wasted profiling the the dirty and not so dirty acts of politicians. Political parties are bigger repulsions . Often people turn zealots defending theri favorite party’s lines. I do not have any political affiliation but have a deep sense of love for my country. The biggest party in India too has been playing very dirty tricks to usurp/hold on to power and also at times bringing Shame to nation.
Here are the 5 most disgusting things ( In my opinion ) Congress has done :
5 Blocked the re election of President Kalaam : Put a nondescript person as President in name of gender. Inspite of exemplary tenure and unpartisan and visionary Presidentship of Kalaam he was denied a second tenure. Just look at what unworthy , undistinguished work his replacement has done in last 1 year besides taking his kins on official tour to further personal business interests and make protocol gaffes
4. Blocking the impeachment and promoting the informers: Justice Cho Ramaswamy In spite of proven charges of corruption and irregularities as solicitor general, his impeachment was blocked. Similarly , current CEC Naveen Chawla was promoted inspite of clear dispay of partisanship and leaking information of confidential info to poll managers og Congress
3. Recommending Creamy layer for reservation: This too when large population of upper caste languish Below Poverty lines. Sons of MPs /CMs with assets of 1000 crores are entitled to reservation. What a mockery of social equity
2. Sharm Al Sheikh : PM Manmohan Singh delinking terror with bilateral talks with Pakistan . Even,the ashes of dead from 26/11 had not cooled off; the PM wanted to talk of trade commerce and bilateral relations with them.
1. Nomination of President’s son from Amravati : For last 2 assembly polls Dr Deshmukh had been winning this seat for Congress . I am witness to tremendous improvement he has done in this city of Maharashtra. He inspite of his fervent appeals has been sidelined to make way for President’s son. Psycophancy rules in this party and Dynasties reign.
Please write in if you know more.
God’s variable pay September 22, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Humor, Literary, Satire, Spirituality.Tags: Devotion, God, Humor, pay, Philosophy
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God’s variable pay should be linked to monsoons in Q2s

There are 2 things which trigger this thought: 1) All across the world , no body can take a portion of their pay as granted and 2 ) God has been very inconsistent in delivering what its supposed to with consistency
Let me explain my seemingly indignant proposals.
The first Question is : Does God have a pay ? and if he does, then does he have a fixed and variable component ?
If we think deeper God gets a lot from her (Using ‘Her’ to be politically correct) devotees. Lets see the various forms it takes.
- There is cash and loads of it every moment coming to her. The cash register is not often accounted for .It pours in form of currency notes and predominantly coins.
- There is kind and its multiple forms. The manifestations are :
- Milk
- Sweets
- Flowers
- Clothes
- Fragrances
- Other food Stuff
- Precious metals ( Gold , silver etc)
- Credit : They rain in multiple forms :
- Cheques
- Donations
- Pledge against wishes/successes / wins
- Life : Sacrificing human /animal lives in return of wishes
- Bakras (Goats)
- Kids
- Buffalos etc
- Real estate : This is the biggest emolument and comprises :
- Huge Temple /Mosque / Churches/ City ( Vatican,Mecca)
- Roads, wells, Caves, etc Here , the different endless manifestations may crop up but to keep the long story short , I will come to a more significant one .
- Time : This can vary from :
- Prayer minutes every day
- Meditation hours everyday
- Fasting days/ week
- Devotion months/year
- Worshiping years/life and
- Lives/community or family dedicated to her
The above 7 ( not yet exhaustive ) establish beyond doubt that god does have a pay . Some part of it is fixed like daily prayers, Prasad etc. There is a very large Variable pay which is linked to meeting aspirations of devotees. Like If I pass , I put a Prasad of Rs 501. If the ailing son recovers , I build a temple etc. Having established both we must rationalize how the variable pay should be controlled.
Monsoons have lot of bearing on the happiness and prosperity of people in country like India. Ideally upto 80 % or less monsoon , the variable pay should be zero. Between 81% to 99 % she should get pay in proportion to percentage. Between 100 to 115 % he may like to get double the difference over 100% i.e for 110% monsoon he may get 120% variable pay. Beyond 115 % , i.e causing floods there should be penalty. These are my initial thoughts . What are your thoughts ?
Passing thoughts :

Dashboards and the helluva noise about them September 8, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Humor, India, Project Management, Satire.Tags: Accidents, Dashboards, PM tools, Project Management
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Imagine you are put into a car ,You have to drive it to a known destination. The car has a beautiful dashboard but none of them will work unless you manually update their values. How good will it be if you have to pop a dipstick inside the fuel tank to find how much fuel is there and then update the fuel meter. You go to the battery compartment, use a voltmeter to measure battery voltage, come back and update the dashboard. You go to engine compartment, measure the temperature of engine oil and update the temperature meter and so on .
This brings us to 2 major questions :
- How often should you get down from car to measure and update the dashboards ? 2 hrs? 60 minutes ? every 30 minutes ? every 10 minutes ?
- If you have to tell outsiders why your car is not driving correctly , will you have a feeling that if only I didn’t tell you every 15 minutes what my vehicle parameters are, I would have reached home by now?
Too much is being made out by various organizations on Project Dashboards. The Senior Management often believes that this is often the epicure of all project problems. Once they get dashboards, they can parade each project manager whose projects have parameters in red. This zeal of CEOs/ COO/ VPs results in passing a whip whereby once in a fortnight/ week a mail is sent to all. The Project manager stops all his activities, tells all team members to stop activites. They just do one thing, collect all metrics dump it on a spreadsheet. The sheet then is sent for consumption by the Sr Management. Once this exercise is complete, this gives a sense of superiority to management who believe that they have reins in their hands. All is good with this process only till you abstract yourself and look how in reality things work.

In ordinary/ extraordinary cases ,what is done is: A not so old vehicle of reliable make is bought, the dashboards are automated, most consumables( Fuel, radiator coolant, battery level, tyres etc) are adequately filled, the driver is suitably skilled and licensed to drive. While this is true for ensuring even VVIP motorcades; For Project management , the sponsors take an entirely tangent route. No body buys a reliable vehicle ( Project Mgt Processes viz PMBOK or PRINCE) ,) The approach followed is : They make their own vehicle ( PM proceses), Every one wants to get the metrics manually updated , the PM does all that the guys with passive car dashboard was doing . they do not ensure that the Project driver is licensed (PMP, PRINCE certified) or at times if s/he is licensed , tell them to run the project not in sync with licentiate rules but narrow current priority. The PM finally rams the project into the wall wondering what went wrong. He had learned driving projects on his own could crank the project to start and had some idea on steering and brakes too… An investigation is ordered, PM screams at management, management screams at PM, PM screams at team members ,every body thinks somebody else was to blame.

A driving parameter gone wrong has to be immediately addressed, whats needed is LIVE feed to PM on whats going wrong at that instant, not a court of inquiry once in 15 days to let a PM find out whats wrong and then non drivers telling her how she should drive.. Its time world bodies standardize the framework of PM dashboard , all project based companies embrace them and licensed PM drive all projects. Every thing good happening in the world is probably attributable to projects.
5 Indian movies one must see before declaring anything as outstanding September 2, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Movies.add a comment
Indian publishing is infested by a large no. of venal movie critics. Each one revelling in his/her own idiosyncracies and often bribed or goaded to shower encomiums. While the likes of Amitabh Maitra are rare and too academic to appreciate any thing less than Kurosawa, I believe there are other 5 movies which are decimate the boundaries of Art/Entertainment/ Quality work. They are a good kaleidoscope to get delighted with Quality work in Film making.
5. Agnipath /Parinda: The vengeance, attitude, the look and dialogs are awesome . Amitabh ,by far looked most amazing as a Don in one Nana Patekar is awe inspiring. The action scenes and camera work are amazing in both.The Villainy of Danny is chillling in one while characterizationof Jackie in other is peerless. I will put this movie in league of Mississipi burning , Godfather. Bandit Queen too makes the mark in this categoryThe stories are original
4. Sholay : This classic is everfresh. The comedy of Dharam, Hema, Leela mishra, Jagdeep, Ashrani has never been matched in any other movie. The fear which Gabbar evoked in minds of audience is unparalleled. The subtle romance of Amitabh, Cabaret by Helen, Gun battles in various scenes, the dialogs, the hand crushing scene by Sanjeev Kumar , songs, camaraderie create benchmarks. I wonder, it this kind of magic will ever be recreated. Solay if seen with unprejudiced eyes can leave Good, the Bad and ugly miles behind.The story is original
3. Roja : The music transforms you to a different platform. The vulnerability of Madhu, natural expressions of Arvind Swamy, the photography, the poetry , ” Bharat humko Jaan se pyaara hai ” . The way movie moves from a village in Tamilnadu to Kashmir crafts a beautiful story .It captures the myriad hues of India. Pankaj Kapur looks menancing as Kashmiri militant. The ending scene is mind blowing. Shawshank Redemption( Rated to have best movie ending ever) will stir you to the hilt but Roja shakes you a little more The story and drama is fresh and original.
2. Munnabhai MBBS : Raj kumar herani scaled this peak and there after, the journey has been downhill. Sanju baba has been immortalized after doing this role. The sense of comedy, innocent questions, wit and humor are unprecedented. Bomman Irani displayed aura hitherto seen only in Amjad. His best role till date. There after he has probably never come this close to perfection. Great direction, screen play and probably the best ever performance by Arshad. Supposedly a rip off from Gangsta MD, the movie gets you on the floor laughing. John Travolta in Look who’s talking pales in comparison to this. I would put Rangeela as a close contender.The story appears original ( I am yet to see Gangsta MD)
1. Slumdog Millionaire & Gandhi : Both these movies made by Britishers to portray India/ Indians have been global success. The casting in both are as good as they can ever be. Ben Kingsley brought Gandhi alive on screen, no body else will ever be able to recreate this resemblance. Om puri as a rioteer, Roshan Seth as Nehru , Rohini as Kasturba shook the world . Slum dog exploited the terrific story from novel Q&As to extremes. The hope and survival thrown in with humor and wit are par excellence. This is what creates a masterpiece . Probably these 2 are landmarks in world cinema everone can be proud of. The stories are absolutely fantastic
The work, then left for producers and financers is to challenge all directors to ask if their proposed work match or exceed the standards set by movies mentioned above. The critics may do better to bench mark new movies aganist these. The audiences need to summarily reject mindless love triangles or remakes vomited by Johars, Chopras, Red Chilies etc . In a good movie and a commercial success, the biggest factor is story.
Lest we do this, these buggers will keep remaking stupid Dev Dasses, Dons , Kamineys, Anand ( Kal ho na ho) and keep insulting our intelligences while laughing their way to banks. They consider story as something which can be recycled, borrowed, stolen or fixed during movie making ( Chandni Chowk to China, Kaminey etc) . A clear rejection of their dirty motives will get Indian cinema the respect and money it deserves.
PS: Am gladly surprised to see that the following disgustingly sissy people are not even remotely related to these great works : Shahrukh, Govinda, Rishi Kapoor, Jeetendra, Karan Johar.
Contrarily, consider the kind of respect you have when you hear AR Rahman, ManiRatnam, Salim Javed, Amitabh ( Yesteryears- Not Stupid Sexy Sam or Jhoom Barabar), Nana Patekar ( Ankush, Prahaar not meterdown)or Aamir Khan
5 Effective steps to prevent Swine Flue August 18, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Environment, Health.Tags: H1N1 prevention, Swine, Swine flue
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Jokes apart, the following is what appears as a good preventive measures :
1. Avoid crowded places till pandemic subsides. Crowd here means places where maximum distance between 2 persons is less than 3 ft.
2. Improve immunity by following :
a) Exercising atleast for 30 minutes non stop there by sweating.
b) Taking good balanced diet. Taking multivitamins if required
c) Having adequate sleep 6-8 hrs a day
d) Avoiding intoxicants ( Alcohol, tobacco etc)
e) Avoid stress of any kind.
f) Get ordinary Flue vaccine.
3. Identify one good ,experienced Doc in your neighbourhood who can refer you to Govt hospitals in case you develop strong symptoms. Get your respiratory disease cured at the earliest or if diabetic get low sugar levels
4. Maintain a very high degree of hygiene. Take bath with 2 teaspoons of germicide ( Dettol,Savlon etc) in a bucket of water.Cut nails, sterilize your hands after physical contact with door knobs, elevator buttons etc.
5.Maintain a distance of 3 ft from normal individual and 6 ft from a coughing/ sneezing individual. If unavoidable, avoid touching eyes , nose, mouth till you have cleaned your hands with soap
Swine Flue- When there is blood on floor, its party time for vultures August 14, 2009
Posted by arunpurohit in Project Management.Tags: 3M, Baba Ram Dev, H1N1, Homeopathy, N95 mask, Pandemic, Swine flue
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Ever since the pandemic has broken out a fear has gripped people. As always, fear leads to loss of rationality and scientific temperament I see people with masks of all kind all around me in the company. Those with fat pay cheques with more Fancy ones, those with average salaries wearing surgical ones and then the poor ones with hankies and Saree covers. I decided to do a reality check on the things I believe most Physics and Maths. Here are the small findings :
The effectiveness of N95 is for particles >= 0.3 micron . Please refer specifications from 3M on what this mask is intended for
The size of H1 N1 is 0.08 to 0.12 micron
Considering even the largest virus
No. of Viruses which can pass through each pore of N95 mask = 0.3/0.12 = 2.5
This is equivalent to open access door(5 ft) and humans( 2 feet wide) passing through it.
With N95 masks who are we trying to fool H1 N1 or ourselves. Its meant for protection against sand, welding, sweeping and grinding as per 3M .
Also , if N95 is not a right solution , any other inferior solution is a greater waste
I am surprised all doctors and US CDC ( Center of Disease control) are recommending it and we are jumping the bandwagon . If this is adding to the topline and bottomline of a stinkingly rich US company 3 M can you guess if this mutually beneficial to whom.
Judge for yourself if you are spending right!!!
The verdict on masks on one of the most reliable site(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_flu_pandemic) is :
Masks may be of benefit in “crowded settings” or for people who are in “close contact” with infected persons, defined as 1 meter or less by the World Health Organization and 6 feet or less by the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration. In these cases the CDC recommended respirators classified as N95, but it is unknown whether they would prevent swine flu infection.[218] According to mask manufacturer 3M, there are no “established exposure limits for biological agents” such as swine flu virus.
The UK Health Protection Agency considers facial masks unnecessary for the general public[219] and some experts feel it may lead to a false sense of security. Masks are not generally provided by airport security or airlines although the CDC recommends the use of surgical masks in some circumstances.[220] other U.S. officials stated in May that if the flu virus does in fact reach pandemic proportions, “there won’t be enough face masks to go around.”[221]
What to do ?
Just like bottled water , get oxygen cylinders and face shields( If you can afford and really want protection). That will be fair and rational protection if you can afford. If not, avoid crowd, keep hygiene and avoid wasting money and convenience.
Also Ram Dev Baba is claiming Pranayam saves you against H1 N1 by increasing immunity. Here are few logical deductions :
Q1 :Who is the Biggest Champ of Pranayam ?
Ans 1 :Baba Ram Dev
Q2 : Who should have biggest immunity ?
A2 : Baba ram Dev and his regular disciples.
Q3 : How can we substantiate this ?
A3 : Sponsor a trip of Baba and his chelas to Pune’s Sassoon and Aundh hospital. Confine them to critical ward inhabited by H1 N1 detainees without medicines . Let them come out after 5 days unaffected by Swine Flue to declare final Victory of Yoga over allopathy. It will be the best reality show ever . Bigger than Big Boss.
Also, it will be good if some homeopathic jokers are also thrown in to verify their claims.
I am willing to donate Rs 1000/= for this cause how many do you want to ?


