Farting, gassing – social and ethical view

Years ago , I was at home of a relative. The matriarch, an old fat lady, was sitting on the floor along with another man in late twenties. They were taking turns to toot, fart, phuss and laughing with each release. It carried on like a match of tennis with none of them giving up. The air around was foul, the other folks in the room were laughing at this keenly fought battle.

Watch this interesting battle shit : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5cEzDeRLK0

Or this official farting competition : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDAT2IaEsTI

Some years later, I was with a nicely groomed teenager and talking. He suddenly excused himself, went to balcony for a second and came back. I asked him, “What happened ? ” . He said , he wanted to pass gas. I admired his sensitivity and upbringing..

Few years later, I was driving  with one of my employees for a post lunch meeting and my flatulence was at alarming level. i asked him if I can switch off the AC and roll the windows down. I cant hold the gas any more and it will foul the air in the car. He agreed..

I have often wondered how people handle flatulence ( tendency to pass gas) in company of other people. I asked a girl about it. She confessed to me that, when caught in such situation, she tries to make a judgment on the intensity. If she knows its going to make noise, she holds it. If its going to be a slow silent passage, she passes it out.

Often in crowded buses of Calcutta this is responded  by – ” Saala! Key boma maarchey ( Who the hell is dropping the gas bombs ? ”   and often the witch hunt begins


The problem with this behavior is :  A lot of folks in the vicinity get inconvenienced with the foul odour and keep guessing who is the source of this nuisance. Occasionally, the fouler’s judgment goes wrong and the “toot” plays out loud leading to eviction of the perpetrator and ensuing embarrassment.

Here is a youtube video where a man on airport is caught on thermal camera passing out gas. The video went freaking viral on the web : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp04J6Fzd6c 

May be sometime in the future, folks will be caught and issued a ticket in airports, air planes, buses just like traffic violations

I have read the confession of an American lady who had enrolled for a morning Yoga class and was tooting in every Yogic position. Subsequently, the Yoga instructor, threw her out of the class.

Postures which trigger

What do you think is the best way to deal with such circumstances ?

How do you deal with such scenarios at office, public transport, while you are alone or in company of another person?

What is the etiquette of dealing with this biological predicament ?

How is it handled differently in different cultures ?  // Ayurveda recommends not holding it even for a few moments and it seems in Indian culture it appears acceptable to pass it without any major restraints

Can there be evolved a global manner/ etiquette so that this scenario can be handled gracefully by folks who trot the globe.

Dont push me to the wall

I just moved in to live in a township in Bangalore. Describing the first experience of a laundry guy

Washing machine at apt fails on Friday //Sucks
Some one in group there is a laundry service below tower 17// ThankQ
Take a week load of clothes and sheets for wash..// Achy breaky heart
Every piece would cost Rs 45/= even a pillow cover..// Shocked may be the folks think in U$s
Nothing left to wear for office work week // Hapless
Little energy to sweat and carry it back// Tired

Oh the 1000s of blistering barnacles
Is the washing quality is good? //Doubtful
I have always paid premium for great stuff will this// Hope
When will you deliver ? 4 calendar days from now  on Tuesday // Devastated

Can sweat more.. give 11 clothes // Le le ab tu bhi
Delivery promised 1930 Tuesday //
Wash 4 minimal clothes at room // Donkey me
Wait for tuesday // Kabhi jo badal barse..

Tuesday 1930 arrives..clock then goes past 2030 // aaye na Baalam ;(
Call up the Nawabs // Phone not reachable
Go down // Shop closed..
Look at the invoice // Nawabs on holiday on Wednesday
Thursday comes.. back to room in sweaty clothes// Angry..

Rush to the shop // Brace up for the blast..

Angry Indian

Dont make me open my mouth

DO YOU NEED A F**** INVITATION TO DELIVER MY CLOTHES ON TIME EVEN AFTER CHARGING A F*** BOMB.. // Expletives of xxx variety rain cats and dogs

/* 30 minutes later */
The clothes arrive at room // Wondering how these suckers thrive and folks tolerate them.

How would you deal with such service ?

X reasons why in my view everyone must have a Himalayan experience .

When I was planning to quit Air Force, I’d think, I will not take up a job immediately after 6 yrs of service. I would spend a few months in Himalayas as a nomad before getting domesticated again.

As my luck would have it, I got married an year before release and was expecting our first child at the time of hanging my uniform. I was the breadwinner and hence reined into the cart.

Next,  as my wife started working and we got financially stable, I thought,  now I will travel alone. Acquisition of babies, car loan and homeloan meant, I had little to play around.  Most of the vacations were spent taking kids to beaches and hill stations nearby Pune. The stuff  just wasn’t just working out .

Why did I have that deep longings towards these peaks ?

  1. They are the biggest thing on earth, are mighty, they daunt and taunt me.
  2. Himalayas are full of evergreens and full of snow. To me its life showing extreme resilience and unending youth.
  3. They appear symbolic of some big mission in life. Reaching the top is symptomatic of success and they appear doable.
  4. Scaling them can almost kill you ( Low Oxygen, cold weather, treacherous gorges) . Also, I believe, what almost kills you makes stronger. I think going on top will build robust mental muscle.
  5. I can come back and tell some interesting stories to friends, kids and everyone. It can be inspirational

I have a few questions for you.


Do Himalayas taunt you ?

Do they intimidate and mock you ?

Do they invite you to view the world from top?

Do you think one day you can and will scale them ?

Do they attract and seduce you ?

What do you think when you see the images of mighty  Himalayas ?

In this series of posts I am going to write about some of the most life enriching experience I had while doing a glacial trek and how it influences my life down in the plains.

Ugly Modi

Today there are things which makes me fill with disgust about the person who leads my nation

1.  Section 66A : This ugly section of IT act of India was drafted by Kapi Sibal..  It allows govt to arrest any person if s/he expresses herself in social media and the expression is found to be offensive. When  this was implemented, Modi had changed his profile picture to black. Calling it as draconian as an emergency. A year passes and he is in power, he deploys his entire legal battery to retain this ugly law. The solicitor general pleads for keeping sec 66 legal but thank god Supreme courts kills this calling it violation of freedom of speech. What a creep this man is

Self obsessed narcissist

2. Disgusting dukanwalla :  Pakistan extended an invite to Indian govt to attend celebration of Pakistan day in Delhi as per protocol. Pakis immediately broke the  protocol by inviting the scoundrels of Kashmir to the event. The same suckers who wish to secede from India and break the country. At this sacrilege, there was no need for govt of India to go and follow the ugly protocol of still attending the meet which gives legitimacy to traitors. He forced Gen V K Singh to go and attend this ugly  event though he didnt want to .  All just because he can do some little kaaro bar with this terrorist nation?

2 lines  from a poem by Ramdhari Singh Dinkar are very apt

Swatantra garv unka jo nar-fankon mein pran ganwate hain
par nahi bech man ka prakash roti ka mol chukate hain…

( Those are entitled to pride of independence who starve to the death

But dont sell their conscience to pay the price of getting a bread )

Mahila Dhritrashtra decoding the Sonia Gandhi neurons

Very pertinent when the entire world is asking #WhereIsPappu

Sunday Morning itch

Dhritarashtra is one of the biggest pivotal character of Mahabharata. It was he who kick started the most epic battle ever in history of mythical mankind.  Such is the immortality of learnings from this battle that we can quickly relate to repeat of  human behaviors in our current lives.  Lets see Sonia Gandhi’s love for her son Owl G for instance and assess how the analogy fits in :

The blinded, vengeful and lusty Dhritarashtra

1. Denial and vengeance: Dhrita was the eldest son and a rightful heir to Hastinapur.  He was denied the privilege of being a king because of  his disability ( Being blind ). He forever held vengeance to the injustice done to him.  Sonia led Congress party to victory in UPA -I after Sitaram Kesri has screwed it up. She was rightful to become the PM  but was denied ascendance because of technicality ( Citizenship…

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SiSiLiMu – the ugly gali to poll success

The surest way to reach pedestals of power in India is by wooing SiSiLiMu. I do not mean the Sisi Leembu as shown below but…

Sisi Limbu or Banta

the Sisi limu  which has a very high voter turn out and votes in blocks enmasse ( Without generally applying brains).

  1. SC ( Scheduled caste)
  2. ST ( Scheduled tribes)
  3. LIG ( Low income group)
  4. Muslims

These 4 factions on Indian demography are to politicians what item numbers are to Bollywood.  They are viewed by politicos as a monoblock which can easily be attracted by doles, freebies and fokat ka maal ( read reservations, free electricity, paani). If you add this booby mix with a twist to your campaign, the chances are that you to have cracked the political box office.

While this is good for the politicians and their litters, I believe it ravishes the nation and plunges the country or states back by a few decades. Lets see some instances

  1.  Indira Gandi (Garibi hatao full spectrum Si Si Li Mu) .. Plunged the nation into ugly emergency.
  2.  Jyoti Bose ( LIG -Hawkers union) Threw Bengal in industrial ranking from # 3 to #30 now. // Predominantly Li
  3. V P Singh ( SC – Mandal politics) : Let to mammoth immolation of youth caused total despondence // Si Si
  4. Mayavati ( ST – Dalit ki beti ) : Put entire UP in dark age.. // Si Si
  5. Mulayam/Omar /Soniya :  Played to muslim galleries ( Shahi Imam, Azam Khan , Shah bano etc)  : Lead to worst communal riots. // Si Si Mu

The worst part for the nation as Delhi goes to vote tomorrow is that the new political snake is working on all 4 of this stream. The CNN IBN poll shows that Kejriwal has very solidly cemented his base in all the SiSiLiMu constituencies. He is turning out to be the ugliest of all all politicians of our times and tops it up with anarchy and opportunism every time.

SiSiLiMu or Banta is a cheap alternative to branded aerated drinks.

Hygienic or harmful ? we know not but its the opium of the masses in the nation’s heartland… Upadravi has learned to woo all of them well..

A wise person had well said – ” Politics is the last resort of a….


Do you see any instance when a person riding these planks has come to power and any thing good has happened to the nation?

//  Apparent Exceptions :

(1) Sonia gave Jaat reservations ( Si Si) in April 2014 and got crushed but then then Jaats were unjustified reservation seekers

(2)  Prithviraj Chavan and Sharad Pawar implemented 71 % reservations  in  Maharashtra and got routed. Marathas who  were added to reserved class did not belong to SiSiLiMu

Slipping through cracks

” I am both ”
Responded a guy when I asked him if he is vegetarian..

I was wondering how ? How can you eat meat and claim that you are vegetarian also..

Amorphous blob of shapelessness and shape

Then I thought, there are heterosexuals who claim they are both homosexuals and straight .

There are liars who claim they speak  both i.e Truth and falsehood.

There are corrupt who say we embezzle money but  are also honest on some instances..

Can the term omnitarian be more appropriate? or do all attempts to classify humans fail ?

There was Steve Jobs and there are Bongs who say I am veg but I eat fish

There are Jains who would say I am vegetarian but I dont eat things grown below ground.

There are marwadis who are veg but would not eat No onion/garlic..

I think the definitions or classifications will remain amorphous unless some semantics are developed which with brevity can define the dominant behavior and exceptions in one small pronounceable word

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