Dont push me to the wall

I just moved in to live in a township in Bangalore. Describing the first experience of a laundry guy

Washing machine at apt fails on Friday //Sucks
Some one in group there is a laundry service below tower 17// ThankQ
Take a week load of clothes and sheets for wash..// Achy breaky heart
Every piece would cost Rs 45/= even a pillow cover..// Shocked may be the folks think in U$s
Nothing left to wear for office work week // Hapless
Little energy to sweat and carry it back// Tired

Oh the 1000s of blistering barnacles
Is the washing quality is good? //Doubtful
I have always paid premium for great stuff will this// Hope
When will you deliver ? 4 calendar days from now  on Tuesday // Devastated

Can sweat more.. give 11 clothes // Le le ab tu bhi
Delivery promised 1930 Tuesday //
Wash 4 minimal clothes at room // Donkey me
Wait for tuesday // Kabhi jo badal barse..

Tuesday 1930 arrives..clock then goes past 2030 // aaye na Baalam ;(
Call up the Nawabs // Phone not reachable
Go down // Shop closed..
Look at the invoice // Nawabs on holiday on Wednesday
Thursday comes.. back to room in sweaty clothes// Angry..

Rush to the shop // Brace up for the blast..

Angry Indian

Dont make me open my mouth

DO YOU NEED A F**** INVITATION TO DELIVER MY CLOTHES ON TIME EVEN AFTER CHARGING A F*** BOMB.. // Expletives of xxx variety rain cats and dogs

/* 30 minutes later */
The clothes arrive at room // Wondering how these suckers thrive and folks tolerate them.

How would you deal with such service ?

X reasons why in my view everyone must have a Himalayan experience .

When I was planning to quit Air Force, I’d think, I will not take up a job immediately after 6 yrs of service. I would spend a few months in Himalayas as a nomad before getting domesticated again.

As my luck would have it, I got married an year before release and was expecting our first child at the time of hanging my uniform. I was the breadwinner and hence reined into the cart.

Next,  as my wife started working and we got financially stable, I thought,  now I will travel alone. Acquisition of babies, car loan and homeloan meant, I had little to play around.  Most of the vacations were spent taking kids to beaches and hill stations nearby Pune. The stuff  just wasn’t just working out .

Why did I have that deep longings towards these peaks ?

  1. They are the biggest thing on earth, are mighty, they daunt and taunt me.
  2. Himalayas are full of evergreens and full of snow. To me its life showing extreme resilience and unending youth.
  3. They appear symbolic of some big mission in life. Reaching the top is symptomatic of success and they appear doable.
  4. Scaling them can almost kill you ( Low Oxygen, cold weather, treacherous gorges) . Also, I believe, what almost kills you makes stronger. I think going on top will build robust mental muscle.
  5. I can come back and tell some interesting stories to friends, kids and everyone. It can be inspirational

I have a few questions for you.

Himalayas

Do Himalayas taunt you ?

Do they intimidate and mock you ?

Do they invite you to view the world from top?

Do you think one day you can and will scale them ?

Do they attract and seduce you ?

What do you think when you see the images of mighty  Himalayas ?

In this series of posts I am going to write about some of the most life enriching experience I had while doing a glacial trek and how it influences my life down in the plains.

Ugly Modi

Today there are things which makes me fill with disgust about the person who leads my nation

1.  Section 66A : This ugly section of IT act of India was drafted by Kapi Sibal..  It allows govt to arrest any person if s/he expresses herself in social media and the expression is found to be offensive. When  this was implemented, Modi had changed his profile picture to black. Calling it as draconian as an emergency. A year passes and he is in power, he deploys his entire legal battery to retain this ugly law. The solicitor general pleads for keeping sec 66 legal but thank god Supreme courts kills this calling it violation of freedom of speech. What a creep this man is

Self obsessed narcissist

2. Disgusting dukanwalla :  Pakistan extended an invite to Indian govt to attend celebration of Pakistan day in Delhi as per protocol. Pakis immediately broke the  protocol by inviting the scoundrels of Kashmir to the event. The same suckers who wish to secede from India and break the country. At this sacrilege, there was no need for govt of India to go and follow the ugly protocol of still attending the meet which gives legitimacy to traitors. He forced Gen V K Singh to go and attend this ugly  event though he didnt want to .  All just because he can do some little kaaro bar with this terrorist nation?

2 lines  from a poem by Ramdhari Singh Dinkar are very apt

Swatantra garv unka jo nar-fankon mein pran ganwate hain
par nahi bech man ka prakash roti ka mol chukate hain…

( Those are entitled to pride of independence who starve to the death

But dont sell their conscience to pay the price of getting a bread )

Mahila Dhritrashtra decoding the Sonia Gandhi neurons

arunpurohit:

Very pertinent when the entire world is asking #WhereIsPappu

Originally posted on Sunday Morning itch:

Dhritarashtra is one of the biggest pivotal character of Mahabharata. It was he who kick started the most epic battle ever in history of mythical mankind.  Such is the immortality of learnings from this battle that we can quickly relate to repeat of  human behaviors in our current lives.  Lets see Sonia Gandhi’s love for her son Owl G for instance and assess how the analogy fits in :

The blinded, vengeful and lusty Dhritarashtra

1. Denial and vengeance: Dhrita was the eldest son and a rightful heir to Hastinapur.  He was denied the privilege of being a king because of  his disability ( Being blind ). He forever held vengeance to the injustice done to him.  Sonia led Congress party to victory in UPA -I after Sitaram Kesri has screwed it up. She was rightful to become the PM  but was denied ascendance because of technicality ( Citizenship…

View original 415 more words

SiSiLiMu – the ugly gali to poll success

The surest way to reach pedestals of power in India is by wooing SiSiLiMu. I do not mean the Sisi Leembu as shown below but…

Sisi Limbu or Banta

the Sisi limu  which has a very high voter turn out and votes in blocks enmasse ( Without generally applying brains).

  1. SC ( Scheduled caste)
  2. ST ( Scheduled tribes)
  3. LIG ( Low income group)
  4. Muslims

These 4 factions on Indian demography are to politicians what item numbers are to Bollywood.  They are viewed by politicos as a monoblock which can easily be attracted by doles, freebies and fokat ka maal ( read reservations, free electricity, paani). If you add this booby mix with a twist to your campaign, the chances are that you to have cracked the political box office.

While this is good for the politicians and their litters, I believe it ravishes the nation and plunges the country or states back by a few decades. Lets see some instances

  1.  Indira Gandi (Garibi hatao full spectrum Si Si Li Mu) .. Plunged the nation into ugly emergency.
  2.  Jyoti Bose ( LIG -Hawkers union) Threw Bengal in industrial ranking from # 3 to #30 now. // Predominantly Li
  3. V P Singh ( SC – Mandal politics) : Let to mammoth immolation of youth caused total despondence // Si Si
  4. Mayavati ( ST – Dalit ki beti ) : Put entire UP in dark age.. // Si Si
  5. Mulayam/Omar /Soniya :  Played to muslim galleries ( Shahi Imam, Azam Khan , Shah bano etc)  : Lead to worst communal riots. // Si Si Mu

The worst part for the nation as Delhi goes to vote tomorrow is that the new political snake is working on all 4 of this stream. The CNN IBN poll shows that Kejriwal has very solidly cemented his base in all the SiSiLiMu constituencies. He is turning out to be the ugliest of all all politicians of our times and tops it up with anarchy and opportunism every time.

SiSiLiMu or Banta is a cheap alternative to branded aerated drinks.

Hygienic or harmful ? we know not but its the opium of the masses in the nation’s heartland… Upadravi has learned to woo all of them well..

A wise person had well said – ” Politics is the last resort of a….

Scoundrel

Do you see any instance when a person riding these planks has come to power and any thing good has happened to the nation?

//  Apparent Exceptions :

(1) Sonia gave Jaat reservations ( Si Si) in April 2014 and got crushed but then then Jaats were unjustified reservation seekers

(2)  Prithviraj Chavan and Sharad Pawar implemented 71 % reservations  in  Maharashtra and got routed. Marathas who  were added to reserved class did not belong to SiSiLiMu

Slipping through cracks

” I am both ”
Responded a guy when I asked him if he is vegetarian..

I was wondering how ? How can you eat meat and claim that you are vegetarian also..

Amorphous blob of shapelessness and shape

Then I thought, there are heterosexuals who claim they are both homosexuals and straight .

There are liars who claim they speak  both i.e Truth and falsehood.

There are corrupt who say we embezzle money but  are also honest on some instances..

Can the term omnitarian be more appropriate? or do all attempts to classify humans fail ?

There was Steve Jobs and there are Bongs who say I am veg but I eat fish

There are Jains who would say I am vegetarian but I dont eat things grown below ground.

There are marwadis who are veg but would not eat No onion/garlic..

I think the definitions or classifications will remain amorphous unless some semantics are developed which with brevity can define the dominant behavior and exceptions in one small pronounceable word

Mr Arun Jaitley , 6 small facts one small ice challenge for you

*Honorable finance minister* and beloved left ball of NaMo, Sri  Arun Jaitley today ejaculated – “One small rape in Delhi was publicized and we lost billions of dollars

Arun Jaitley

Arun Jaitley terms Delhi rape ‘small incident that cost billions in tourism’

Warning : Explicit content ahead please abandon reading if you are sensitive to violent language and crudery 

This former Supreme court lawyer should take the following *small* facts in to cognizance :

  1. There were 6 rapists in the bus including the driver
  2. All of them took turns to rape Late Jyoti Pandey. It lasted a few hours in running bus.
  3. After the rape, a rusted cold iron rod ( L Shaped ) was thrust through her vagina and it made its way up through uterus to her abdomen.
  4. The temperature on that night was 3 to 5 degree celsius and she was thrown out naked and bleeding from a bus moving at 60km /hr
  5. She had profuse internal bleeding, underwent 5 surgeries which removed all her intestines and uterus
  6. The infection spread to her entire body, she finally died of cardiac arrest in Singapore.

Source (  Wikipedia 2012 Delhi gang rape )

To me as a human being none of these are small but to our *erudite minister* and sexy minister, they are . 

Here is how we can settle the smallness of this rape by personal example and taking inspiration from popular ALS ice bucket challenge.

Arun Jaitley must volunteer to take a small ice sodomy challenge. A place in Kashmir or Himalayas where the ambient temperature is 4 to 5 degree can be chosen.

  1. 6 solid bus/ truck driver can  be randomly picked.
  2. They can take turns to sodomize him ( No lubricant is to be used ). This is to be done in a moving bus and should last for  at least 90 minutes and should be done at night.
  3. A  L shaped road or wheel jack can be inserted in his anus and pushed way up his abdomen.
  4. He can then be thrown out of that running train/ bus  ..

He will have a choice not to undergo surgery and medical treatment.. It will be a small sodomy as per his opinion. He can get up and then recommend two of his fellow ministers for ice sodomy test starting from MoS Nihal Chand, the rape accused..

Since all this is to be videographed, it can be posted to all social media and is destined to go viral. The ad revenues generated from this exercise can bring in billions of revenues we have lost . Further, as more and more of his colleagues take this test it can beat the records of LIVE olympic telecast rights.

Mister Jaitley , will you please take this ice bucket oops small  ice sodomy challenge,  establish your theory of small rape and reclaim the billions of dollars lost.

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