Of all the popular fraud schemes Robin Hood theme continues to amaze and baffle me most. It has defied time, mortality and eternity and still works in 21st century. Robinhood continues to be the opium of the hoi-polloi or junta. It mesmerizes and has a box office collection of few lakh crores in just first few weeks as against 100 crores Bollywood craves. Lets see how it works.
A Demagogue Jholelal Fakeer who claims a peasant background, typically has a beard, a 56 inch chest and looks like one shown below declares:
He is attempting to raid and rob the rich. Its a WAR // Rich are the biggest evil it doesnt matter that they are hardworking, smart and intelligent. WAR cry invariably fools the fools
He gives a hope of windfall wealth (say Rs 16 lakhs in cash), to each illiterate, lazy and brainless Gareeb (poor).. They wont even have to move their ASS for it.
He further promises to distribute the fruits of entire loot. Kaala dhan from kaale log will tana tan go to gareeb’s accounts JanDhan . OMFG, this creates erection ( Entertainment) mightier than the number “Chhamiya ki choli” item. Fakeer knows he needs to deliver nothing. The drunken imbecile dolts are already doing Naagin dance and high on this opium.
Pandemonium reigns. Popularity breaks the roofs… Just 31% fools are enough to drown the remaining 69% population which can think. Fakeer grabs the power and continues to make an ass of fools
Once ensconced, the scoundrel ( Fakeer) changes the gear. He actually does a raid and loot on the poor. New and higher Cess emerge. Higher and wider taxes are declared. Greater curbs are put on the cash. This brings majority of money from poor under Scoundrel’s control.
Fakeer now lives in a palatial million square feet bungalow, rides a fleet of BMW 750 i, and flies the world in luxury Chartered planes . All the while he maintains a mask of a Fakeer, a messiah and a humble peasant.
He subsequently siphons the cash pile back to rich industrialists, bureaucrats, bankers and Pigs who were active or silent accomplishes in the fabled Robin hood raids. This siphoning is done in forms of loan restructuring, interest waivers and huge contracts (Statue making)
The scoundrels thus are Nibor Doohs (Robinhood spelled backwards) and paradoxically rob and kill the poor, not the other way as believed or preceived
Approx 40 yrs ago, India was blessed with a great leader who was energetic vibrant, visionary and sexy. Most of his followers believed that He was God’s gift to the country and that he alone will power the country to be the next super power.
This genius leader came to the conclusion that the biggest problem of the country was nothing other than ” Black brown population”. Indians were producing very large number of kaale, bhoore, chitkabrey bachchey (children). This was leading to very large population. This large population was causing :
- Shortage of food, shelter, clothing
- Too much Sex and…. leading to
- More population // Now go back to 1 and repeat
This, he was convinced is the root of all problems that it must be stopped. This menace of population was very big and while all his predecessors only talked about controlling population, God had chosen him to be the crusader against this menace… This was the time for him to take action.
He went ahead and declared that starting from next few hours, producing of children is going out of circulation. While you can have sex but your balls need to be disconnected. The best thing folks could do is by going “Cashless ” ( oops) ChanceLess sex. This cutting of the pipeline of population will run for next 50 days. The citizens will face some inconvenience but in the long run it will be very good for the country. Govt will come up with new denominations of hot pink condoms. The queues for such condoms will initially be large but gradually become small. All males above age of 21 who have already produced an offspring must be sterilized by doing vasectomy.
The chamchas of the leader lost no time in lauding, applauding and rejoicing this move. The dogs of this leader went full hog extolling/ barking the virtue of the biggest assault ever on the largest problem of the country i.e ” Black population”. This was the boldest move ever. People said – ” Bande mein hai dum ” . Lots of citizens said , we fully support the move, we are with this leader. Some wise men said they have no problem with this leader and only those who want to be noticed by going against the grain are groping his bums. Every body must support this noble initiative. All the folks who opposed sterilization were branded anti national. The intent of leader was very good.
Uttawar, a village 80 kilometers south of Delhi, woke up to the police loudspeakers at 3 a.m. Police gathered 400 men at the bus stop. In the process of finding more villagers, police broke in to homes and looted. Total of 800 forced sterilizations were done. It was a big assault on “Black /Brown population“.
During execution of this visionary move, a lot of young guys who were not even married were castrated. In some cases, some old men who were not even able stand up, let alone have sex were sterilized to meet the targets set by the visionary leader. Harijan, a 70-year-old with no teeth and bad eyesight, was sterilized forcefully.
The govt machinery was barely ready to do such massive scale of vasectomy. The processes were not calibrated and many people died of infection as necessary antiseptic were not available. Some LeaderBhakts claimed that in a great “Surgical strike” a little collateral damage was all ok.
Some Media went ga ga on the brilliant master stroke to attack the “Black population ” … those who criticized were called “Paid media”, “AntiNational” or people filled with negativity. 1000s of justifications were provided on how great move this was. Genitals of 83 lakh Indians were “Surgically mutilated” . 1000s died and some Congtards claimed that case of death were really DUMB.
Donkeys brayed encomiums on the assault and composed poems. The Supreme court of the country said that they are not against Vasectomies and asked the govt to file an affidavit on steps it was taking to reduce the inconvenience during vasectomies. The attorney general asked the judge to visit the vasectomy center during lunch hours and see for themselves that folks were actually enjoying vasectomies. Govt docs were tickling their balls very well. Some dudes were found on streets wearing Tees with message ” Proud to be castrated” … singing anthems on Nas bandi – ” हर हर हो जी , घर घर हो जी ( Har har Ho jee, Ghar ghar Ho jee) ” and ” बच्चे बिन अब , आने वाले हैं (Bachche bin ab… aane waale hain) ”
Some notable incidents
१. Shahu Ghalake, a peasant from Barsi in Maharashtra, was taken for sterilization. After mentioning the fact that he was already sterilized, he was beaten. He was sterilized for the second time
२. Hawa Singh, a young widower, from Pipli was taken from the bus against his will and sterilized. The infection took his life
There were off course some GhandiBhakts who voluntarily accepted vasectomy and encouraged other folks to do the same ( All in the long term interest of the nation ). It was also claimed in State media that people were eagerly queuing up to get vasectomized and queues were a few kilometers long.
Courts were forbidden to adjudicate on the complaints because this was the privilege of an elected govt. This beautiful scheme however died a beautiful death and the visionary leader died a sudden death in helicopter crash. The menace of population grew even bigger thereafter and it almost doubled in next decade. #WTF
This population however paid great dividends when technology revolution happened. Instead of becoming a liability, the population paid rich demographic dividends and the country became the global hub of technology services…
The country moved ahead but after some years, a new root of all problems has been discovered. To solve that problem, its said the soul of dead Vidhata has entered a new Chhappan inch bold body avatar.
All the Vidhata who were accomplices in that great endeavor probably have also taken rebirth and are busy extolling the virtues of a God’s gift to India again.His “Bold decision” is solving one more black problem in the long run.
I am a big fan of “Animal farm ” written by George Orwell. This possibly is the best book ever written to understand ugly politicians. If you have read the book you will relate to the current currency scam. If not, a quick intro will help. One of the characters in book which always makes me laugh is “Boxer ”
Boxer -> A loyal, kind, dedicated, extremely strong, hard working, and a respectable cart-horse who by IQ is a donkey. He is a Bhakt of wicked pig king Napoleon, who rules the farm, exploits him and animals perennially. Boxer however always holds the belief that Napoleon is always right.One day he realizes the ugliness of his king Napoleon, but its too late, he is caged,in a close truck and on the way to slaughter house ready to be killed.//
Another interesting character is -> Squealer – A small, white, fat porker who serves as wicked king’s second-in-command and minister of propaganda. He mixes with animals and misguides them that everything King is doing is for their good. There is an example of squealer later in the post 😉
Please do read this book its hilarious.. i thanks Kuldeep Singh for recommending it to me.
There are 1000s of such Boxer bhakts on social media today who feel “Modi is always right ” . We must not blame them, we cant awaken them. Their faith in Modiji is as strong as Madarsa dude’s in Quran or Sharia. Metaphorically, the Boxer Bhakts are in dream or delirium of different elusive 72 virgins ( Achchhe din, Akhand Bharat extending to Afghanistan and Tibet). We can only pity them or laugh at these boxers as they move to slaughter house of cess and torture of inconvenience.
Let me try to pose some questions :
- Who is the governor of RBI now ?…… Cant tell? ….. Why ? Few months ago you could always tell ? Why is a non descript impotent person an RBI governor now ? ( What you see in this post is a Squealer and irrelevance of RBI governor)
- Was this kind of currency Harakiri possible, had assertive Rajan been in the place ? // He was not a Yes sir, yes sir 3 bags full, all for YOU kind of man… Was he removed to facilitate this mammoth scam..
- What was the safeguard against passing on such impactful and drakonian orders to businessmen/ groups who are bed fellows of Bhajapia ministers ? // Dont you already know the folks from whose hands our PM eats out off or Mr Gadkari enjoys Cruise ship trip in Europe (Dont tell anyone else but start wrapping up )
- Will Modiji declare the source of estimated 15,000 Crores black money he spent to win 2014 elections ? // Sushma Swaraj was the first politician crying bucket of tears to Chief Information commissioner pleading to not include her party spendings under RTI .. they came to power, partially riding the hatred for Congis and decidedly riding enormous marketing juggernaut.
- After that allegedly bogus and unsubstantiated “Furgical Strike” allegedly destroying so many alleged terror camps, why the soldiers are dying everyday at Borders ? Wasnt there a better alternative to divert public attention from incompetence to handle border, Kashmir problem and fake surma Bhopali encounter?
The truth is : Somewhere in between..
I recently visited my favorite designer’s portfolio and was aghast that he too was making an avoidable error in designing for mobile. A normal user will find nothing wrong with design below:
As a designer or common user can you spot what usability problem the designer has created?
Think hard ? Still not getting it ?
Now lets see the context of using this app .
This persona say Rita, 24 ( 155cm tall ) is trying to book a bus ticket on the GO. Most likely she is in a crowded space. She is holding the mobile in her right hand.and a shake in another.
What really happens ?
She struggles to tap the top area of mobile .
Why am I so harsh in defining the usage scenario ?
If the strength of a chain is the strength of its weakest link, then usability of an app is only as good as how it works in its most demanding situation.
So in a tough scenario, this is how women like to use their phone.
Why does single hand usage matter ?
Have a look at the regions of cellphone Rita’s thumb can reach below.
Its tough for Rita to reach the top zones to tap with her thumb.
Also, the red zone keeps getting bigger as she moves to bigger phones like iPhone 6s ( On far right)
Why do our designers and developers make this mistake ?
Most of us non Arabic folks start to read our books from top left and move to right and then down.
This habit persisted in the way we designed our web. We kept the most significant content near top left.
So, most forms have first field (And most important trigger on Top left). This worked satisfactorily as mouse cursor was not anchored or tethered to bottom right just like a right hand. A flick, often got the pointer on top left.
This however is next to impossible for Rita to tap on top right with her thumb in one hand grip.
How does she handle it ?
She loosens her grip on the phone, tries to push the top of phone down ( Or moves her grip up ). During this instant, the phone is very loosely held. A small shake, push or lapse of control and the phone crashes on ground, breaking the USD 70 screen.
What is the way out ?
- Be conscious of the areas Rita can tap(green zones). Put all important tappable actions in that green area.
- Let only some tappable actions spill over to difficult zone ( Orange)
- Utilize the inaccessible areas for displaying information which aids user to decide the tappable action. Use red zone as display areas.
- Create a set of design templates which act a a visual guide to designers for placing various visual elements
What is the conclusion ?
When designing for touch devices, break free from the book or web screen mental makeup and be very conscious of placing tappable actions in the green zones .
What is the moral of story ?
Look at mobile and touch based apps from a different angle of human ergonomics than what you do for web.