Dear Advertising agencies,

I am a consumer and you chase every moment of my awakened life with your creations trying to derive the longest mileage of the budget your lords give you. It pisses me off. You started encroaching my privacy everywhere. You dig deep into what I search on google. You check every little action I do on my face book. You appear irritatingly in lift lobbies, airports, as newspaper flyers, on my blogs ( Even when I dont like or allow you to ), you scream on the railway wagons, you put ugly hoardings all over my city spoiling its architecture. You appear to be sending shitty smses, you erupt like an eyeshore and cover my screen when I am reading an article on web. You come camouflaged as front page of National news and business papers. I tolerated you and your total chronic deficit of creativity when you have limp wristed Bollywood eunuchs  pose with a fairness cream or toothpaste close to their faces. I have endured and tolerated all this sacrilege  till date. I have ignored your stupid, in the face campaigns which appear between news and TV programs. Today, however , I have seen you at your dirtiest. For a 1 minute video which I tried to show my kid on you tube, you started showing and ugly piece of ad from idea and airtel.  This has got screaming mad about how worthless and a pests you have become. Let me call you a spade in 3 distinct observations.

Do stupid exaggerations like this make you buy underwears

1.  Celebrities do not make me to buy a product : You are such dumbwits that every time a corporate house talks an ad budget you scramble to hire a Bollywood bimbette or a stupid Kooda Kir cut player.  The millions you put down the drain by letting a Tendulkar endorse a Fiat palio sells only 80 cars across India. The UP elections have shown that the consumer is highly anti rhetoric.  She doesnt get over awed by a chikni chamdi or some god forsaken surname. Get the men/ women on street to send your message. . We know that some sunset super star can cajole you to make his son a brand ambassador for some stupid ads and you can bribe the brand equity guys to declare it as a best ad. For us it will always be bekaar. Suzuki swift doesnt have any celebrity endorsing it, yet its one of the most aspirational car Indians are ga ga over and wait for 6 months rather than an endorsed i10 or i20 . Genuine conversations about products do the job. Dont cheat the corporate houses if you are ineffective in creating good ads.

2.  More impressions do not translate to brand creation  : If I see a stupid inkfruit or flipkart advertisement every where I go, it vexes me . It doesnt make me feel good about the brand. It makes me feel how desperate the brand is. Its like a stupid lass throwing herself all over me. This takes me all the way away from the bed. I wont court  your Client’s brand. Be slightly mysterious and underexposed . Make me to search for your ad on google or facebook . I  will be more conditioned and receptive to your message. Do not overexpose.

3. Exaggeration is not creativity : The only track you follow in your thoughts is exaggeration and constantly overshoot it to our chagrin.  We are not dumbs. 3G is not contraceptive. We know that even sluts do not go crazy over a deodorants. Fair skin doesnt translate into great careers or confidence. Underwear brand can drive some kind of sluts (only you know) into tents. When I go out to buy a watch, I care for the finish, its style , its design and care a damn about  the celebrity endorsing it . In fact, many a times I believe that you are fattening these ugly endorsers by creating a hole in consumer pocket. The POMs really taught you a mindless way to create advertisements by keeping your head buried.  This turns me away from the brand. Can you just focus on creating small stories and conversations which appeal to our intellect. Can you please work on your credibility deficit ? Seeing the poor balance of creativity and originality in advertisements , ” Yeh Desh ubal raha hai ”

 

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