The games politicians have played in the current presidential election has left me thoroughly amused. Its often said that the only thing that differentiates humans from animals is former’s capacity to imagine. Politicos are known for saying something and doing something else. Their gameplans are so well camouflaged that its difficult to gauge what their next move can be. In this series of posts, I have tried to get into minds of some key actors in Presidential race to imagine whats going on in minds of these people . ( The treatise may not stand logic of argument but can give some peek into these sharp minds). Since this is a monologue of mature people, language at some places is unrestrained, adult reading discretion is advised )
1. Mulayam Singh Yadav : Yes, Akhilesh bachua ka mohra chal gayil (The move of putting son in election fray worked ). It did help win elections in UP. The victory is fine, we are well enconsed but its not the time to rest on laurels. Netaji ka khel toh abhi chalu huwa hai mere dost ( The game has just begun ). It’s the time to go and make that big kill. Aaaahh! Prime ministership doesn’t come served on platter. One has to work towards it and engineer it. This puerile Mamta, no matter how stupid she looks, has taught me that if you are one of the legs, Govt stands on, you can SUCK big time. I mean ‘SUCK’ not as college bachchas interpret but in terms of cornering bountiful central funds. I guess Akhi needs 20,000 crore but if I project 93,000 crores and get some high fraction of it, there will be enough to keep coffers of SP full. After Kalmadi and Raja any thing less than 76,000 crores is not befitting of a politican to talk about. Getting a grip on the balls of govt at this stage was very crucial now. With Momota now isolated I will be the only one SUCKING the udders of the mother UPA. While this citadel of Congress collapses in next 1 year, possibly I can target 80 MPs in a snap poll . That’s the closest, I can get to my life’s cherished goal of Prime ministership. The bhodro b***h got a real big kick on her back. She deserved it and is so stunned by Bhaiya master stroke that she is not even able to open her trap against me. You can see me emerge as a key pivot at national level in times to come. Netaji will finally arrive, the great grand children of Yadav family will not have to look for any other profession
2. Soniya Gandi : People have time and again forgotten who is the boss. So what, I was lying low when SHIT of corruption had hit the fan, I had to. There was no use messing around then. If you see , corruption, scams happening in first two years after election are part of my script. Indian public memory doesnt last beyond 1 yr. Does anyone remember Lokpal now ? Does any body get excited about that bill ? Now lets see, this Pronob had been like a typical Bong Machh( fish) . While I do relish his meat, his bones are bloody pricky. Back in 1984 when Mom ( This stupid Indian culture of calling mother in laws -Mom) died he was the first one to have prime ministerial erection. He was #2 in Mom’s cabinet and said it was time for him to assume greater role. Little did he know that we can read, what that holy F that means. I told sweetheart to kick him out. This Bong Machh was a good riddance then. With 410 MPs in LS we hardly needed any crisis manager. Early in 90s, Raul baba was in teens and we needed somebody to manage the show so we got him back in.. 2000s were the years of coalition and crisis management and then we have enjoyed his meat (machinations) very well. You know what, when he handles this small s***ts like Annas or Babas, he feels great, his esteem and f****g ego gets a BIG boost and grows too large. He again starts dreaming of PM. My problem is : I cant accept a person unless he is as dumb as Manmohan. Now, that Raul is off the breast and bottle feeds, he cannot permeate thru’ this Bong’s ego. He probably wont let a Bachcha lead the country one more time. Now that meant I had to get rid of him from political space. I could have given him this silly Presidency on a platter ( Just like we have been giving it fools, cooks, dumbs etc) but then, had I made it look easy, this sucker would have never taken it. That’s typical of any kid. Raul also said he doesnt want to PM 9 yrs ago because it looked very easy to him. When I made it look difficult to Pranab, he is very very happy to just get it ( Off course , I had to play a game getting M&M to dance to my tune). Very few people were able to read the importance of Mulayam sitting next to me at our 3 yr completion. Now some folks understand how I have used him to domesticate Didi. Off course, he will SUCK for next 6-12 months but we always have enough milk for DnBs ( Dogs n bitches ). This Kalaam!!! He thinks he is something of a f*****g rock star. He raised fingers on my Italian passport… He is done for life. It doesn’t matter whether what Junta wants. What runs large is as Laloo says- “Jo Soniyaji chahti hai wohi hota hai. ” . The script as I see today is unfolding as per my plan.
[To be continued] next – Momota Banerjee and Pranab Mukherjee