Approx 40 yrs ago, India was blessed with a great leader who was energetic vibrant, visionary and sexy. Most of his followers believed that He was God’s gift to the country and that he alone will power the country to be the next super power.
This genius leader came to the conclusion that the biggest problem of the country was nothing other than ” Black brown population”. Indians were producing very large number of kaale, bhoore, chitkabrey bachchey (children). This was leading to very large population. This large population was causing :
- Shortage of food, shelter, clothing
- Too much Sex and…. leading to
- More population // Now go back to 1 and repeat
This, he was convinced is the root of all problems that it must be stopped. This menace of population was very big and while all his predecessors only talked about controlling population, God had chosen him to be the crusader against this menace… This was the time for him to take action.
He went ahead and declared that starting from next few hours, producing of children is going out of circulation. While you can have sex but your balls need to be disconnected. The best thing folks could do is by going “Cashless ” ( oops) ChanceLess sex. This cutting of the pipeline of population will run for next 50 days. The citizens will face some inconvenience but in the long run it will be very good for the country. Govt will come up with new denominations of hot pink condoms. The queues for such condoms will initially be large but gradually become small. All males above age of 21 who have already produced an offspring must be sterilized by doing vasectomy.
The chamchas of the leader lost no time in lauding, applauding and rejoicing this move. The dogs of this leader went full hog extolling/ barking the virtue of the biggest assault ever on the largest problem of the country i.e ” Black population”. This was the boldest move ever. People said – ” Bande mein hai dum ” . Lots of citizens said , we fully support the move, we are with this leader. Some wise men said they have no problem with this leader and only those who want to be noticed by going against the grain are groping his bums. Every body must support this noble initiative. All the folks who opposed sterilization were branded anti national. The intent of leader was very good.
Uttawar, a village 80 kilometers south of Delhi, woke up to the police loudspeakers at 3 a.m. Police gathered 400 men at the bus stop. In the process of finding more villagers, police broke in to homes and looted. Total of 800 forced sterilizations were done. It was a big assault on “Black /Brown population“.
During execution of this visionary move, a lot of young guys who were not even married were castrated. In some cases, some old men who were not even able stand up, let alone have sex were sterilized to meet the targets set by the visionary leader. Harijan, a 70-year-old with no teeth and bad eyesight, was sterilized forcefully.
The govt machinery was barely ready to do such massive scale of vasectomy. The processes were not calibrated and many people died of infection as necessary antiseptic were not available. Some LeaderBhakts claimed that in a great “Surgical strike” a little collateral damage was all ok.
Some Media went ga ga on the brilliant master stroke to attack the “Black population ” … those who criticized were called “Paid media”, “AntiNational” or people filled with negativity. 1000s of justifications were provided on how great move this was. Genitals of 83 lakh Indians were “Surgically mutilated” . 1000s died and some Congtards claimed that case of death were really DUMB.
Donkeys brayed encomiums on the assault and composed poems. The Supreme court of the country said that they are not against Vasectomies and asked the govt to file an affidavit on steps it was taking to reduce the inconvenience during vasectomies. The attorney general asked the judge to visit the vasectomy center during lunch hours and see for themselves that folks were actually enjoying vasectomies. Govt docs were tickling their balls very well. Some dudes were found on streets wearing Tees with message ” Proud to be castrated” … singing anthems on Nas bandi – ” हर हर हो जी , घर घर हो जी ( Har har Ho jee, Ghar ghar Ho jee) ” and ” बच्चे बिन अब , आने वाले हैं (Bachche bin ab… aane waale hain) ”
Some notable incidents
१. Shahu Ghalake, a peasant from Barsi in Maharashtra, was taken for sterilization. After mentioning the fact that he was already sterilized, he was beaten. He was sterilized for the second time
२. Hawa Singh, a young widower, from Pipli was taken from the bus against his will and sterilized. The infection took his life
There were off course some GhandiBhakts who voluntarily accepted vasectomy and encouraged other folks to do the same ( All in the long term interest of the nation ). It was also claimed in State media that people were eagerly queuing up to get vasectomized and queues were a few kilometers long.
Courts were forbidden to adjudicate on the complaints because this was the privilege of an elected govt. This beautiful scheme however died a beautiful death and the visionary leader died a sudden death in helicopter crash. The menace of population grew even bigger thereafter and it almost doubled in next decade. #WTF
This population however paid great dividends when technology revolution happened. Instead of becoming a liability, the population paid rich demographic dividends and the country became the global hub of technology services…
The country moved ahead but after some years, a new root of all problems has been discovered. To solve that problem, its said the soul of dead Vidhata has entered a new Chhappan inch bold body avatar.
All the Vidhata who were accomplices in that great endeavor probably have also taken rebirth and are busy extolling the virtues of a God’s gift to India again.His “Bold decision” is solving one more black problem in the long run.