The naked truth of 7% GDP-How Modi fooled the FOOLS

#DeModiapa  or note ban  has been one of the biggest folly of Feku but come UP elections and he had to fool the middle class to believe that All is well with his shit..

To bring credibility to his idiocy he is adept at making use of holy cows.

First he hid behind army to claim success of fake #Furgical Strike. He has no evidence or facts to show what was done or not done.

Now, he has  tried to use the Central Statistical Organization ( CSO) to put sand over his shit..  So how did he manage to fudge the GDP growth data ? Read on as I try to pull his pants down to expose the statistical fraud.

1. 45% of Indian Economy in unorganized ( Read road side shops, low wage workers, village trade, non taxable trade etc)

2. CSO doesnt measure informal economy directly but makes assumptions to gauge its value. This is done by approximating it as a fraction of Organized economy i.e 81.818% of organized economy.

3. Rural economy was worst affected by #DeModiapa as these folks didnt get paid. Estimates tell, it shrunk by 20 to 30%

4. Through his Stooge minister Sadananda Gauda,  Modi asked the CSO to continue to use the same assumption, thus showing no decline in unorganized sector. // This is the ghotala source

5. He showed an increase in Govt spending to account for decreased industrial production.

6. In the immediate aftermath of #DeModiapa, gold buying peaked up in markets. The cost of gold skyrocketed from Rs 25,000/ 10g to Rs 65k/ 10g. Apple iPhones were bought in dozens creating all time high sales for Apple in India. Luxury vacations, over seas air tickets were bought. This increased buying was used to show that consumer spending didnt go down..// High spending on gold and shady products ofsetted the low spending on consumer products.

So, now we know what Feku did this summer, just before UP elections, to fool the FOOLS that Demonetization shit doesnt stink.  He did throw some sand on his crap and Bhakts went ahead saying Herculean chootiyapa had no effect.  Yes, it was not crap till you dont remove this layer of sand or pull his kurta up.

kurte-kay-neechay[1]

Torturous road to justice against corrupt

This is really fast ” said Mr Pandit ( name changed ) one of the resident owners. He was commenting on my impatience with the speed of prosecution. I have currently taken up a big battle to unmask massive corruption in my residential society. Distt Deputy Registrar ( DDR) and Deputy Registrar of society Pune City for societies are exchanging letters to bring the corrupt to the book. He further elaborated – ”   The first step here should be to totally insulate them; take away their right to spend our hard earned money.  “.   I had been following up with Registrar of societies ( RoS )  for last 3 months and now the formal investigation on grounds of financial crime is about to begin. The office bearers in  our  society office had illegally done spending of  our maintenance fund without General body approval. Read the original story here

Why should  this  concern all of us ?

We all probably live in or will be living in residential societies where corruption /misappropriation/ can occur. A typical residential society of 400 apartments can have a fund of 1 crore+. The so called volunteers to selflessly serve the society can have their morals taking long vacation when they smell so much money. This may lead to huge leakage of your cash and dilapidated state of your residential society.  Either you can accept that corruption  citing various reasons ( from lack of time, awareness, intent or chalta hai etc) or will have an urge to fight this disease. Its when you decide to fight, will need to know how to proceed. The path to justice is long and torturous. The officers who tried to prosecute Laloo Yadav spent 17 yrs to send the scoundrel to jail.  You may need to be mentally prepared to fight for months, if not years.  I am already in my 4th month 🙂

How often is this kind of fight done ?

Very rarely.  99.9% of such cases of corruption either go unnoticed or people forget about it. Often they are too lazy to even confront the corrupt. The govt procedures of addressing these crimes is too slow and tests your patience and tenacity to extremes.

Why people do not raise voices ?

Its excruciating to fight against corrupt both at lower and higher levels.    For example, if some scoundrel makes a backdoor entry into society office position, its very tedious to throw the him out. They have society funds to hire legal advisors, crook accountants and 5 to 6 partners in crime. You may have to initially hack it all relentlessly

Why is it difficult to throw scoundrels out ?

Most of the people in societies either are not aware about implications of corruption or take it as a part of their ordinary lives. They seldom rise against the corrupt. most believe, its somebody else’s job to fight corruption. Those who rise against corruption have to fight a machinery ( Administration, Sympathisers of corrupt, security employed and inertia of people ).  The cases of illegal committees ( Folks who get into office without getting elected ) of society offices are not dislodged by Registrars any more. One has to go to Co Operative court to challenge that. Going to court means hiring a co operative lawyer and paying his fee. This is enough to give an ordinary citizen jitters. While the crusader has to pay legal charges from her own pocket, the scoundrels have war chest of maintenance fund at their disposal which they utilize to engage legal advisor, bribe civic officials, forge documents with help of corrupt chartered accountants and circulate false justification using society resources.

Alternate method of throwing  illicit and corrupt committee out is by calling an Extra ordinary general meeting ( EOGM)expressing no confidence against the dishonest and corrupt.

Why  EOGM method  is a difficult thing ?

Calling an EOGM for no confidence requires written signature of 33 % of members  (  As a norm only  less than 25% of resident owners attend society meetings ). This means if you have 100 members in society and you want to throw the corrupt out , while you need 33 signatures, you can only reach out only 25 people. Often out of the 25 active members 10 to 12 may already  be huddled in crime. Further, to boot the corrupt out, you need 2/3rd people voting them out.  This means in a society of 100 apartments, you need 67 people voting out . Or if its permissible 2/3rd of attending members. This means if 25 attend the meeting you need 17 people to vote the corrupt out. If the committee comprises 10 members,  mathematically , it may never happen. Its a scenario like no matter how much you hate Congress and its crimes you cant throw it out for 5 yrs because they manage the floor using Mayas, Mulayams, Karunanidhis and Sharad Pawars.

What is the way out ?

Society is like a cell of democracy and none of the provisions work unless there is large participation from all the owners. With 25% or less voting and participation, crooks invariably win . We, thus have the state of society like that of the nation where the ugliest crooks float to the top. Its important that there is large voting turn out ( >75% ) to select people . Also it must be ensured that only the members who are elected through voting become the office bearers. There needs to be an internal lokpal in all societies with power to suspend Chairmen/President/ Secretary/ Treasurer if there are sufficient grounds for dishonesty , corruption or procedural impropriety.

This is what I have done in my society till date in my fight against corruption :

Its been 3.5 months now since I first started it all.  This is how the pieces on chessboard look like

  1. The accused  still disgrace the office . Few  or many steps away from check mate ( I do not know)
  2. The District Deputy Registrar has requested an  eight point response ( In hard core Marathi even difficult for Marathi professor to understand ) for detailed inquiry to  proceed. This  moved some of my pieces into central square
  3.  The evidences which justify detailed inquiry are ready with me.
  4. The thick skinned refuse to vacate the office. In professional chess, no player waits for the check mate. They resign when they have some irrecoverable disadvantage like a major piece loss or a vulnerability.  However in real life, the shameless till they are driven out with force cling on. Fools die hard, crooks die harder
  5. A lot of paper crimes, dishonesty has been perpetrated example : showing an audit report on a date it didn’t exist.  Falsifying the minutes of meeting of AGM, misusing office staff for personal service, etc. When people who are cheats get caught and are incriminated, they try to be even bigger cheats.
  6. As per Maharashtra Co op act, 15 clear days before AGM, the committee needs to circulate audited books of accounts to the members. The crooks in my society sent unaudited balance sheet and asked for approval for audited report which no one had seen. In layman’s term its like taking an approval of financial crimes without even you knowing that crime has happened
  7.  The counter move from those seeking justice has been to submit a written  request from over 30 residents to Dy Registrar that AGM held was illegal.
  8. Momentum often works against the weak.  Approx 70% of people voting in AGM have given in writing that they  want the corrupt to be dismissed.
  9. The partners in crime have gone into a huddle trying to delay the incrimination. Some stooges croak in between on trivial issues to  divert attention from the main issue of corruption
  10. The society and its residents suffer as the apartments get the least resale and rental values in its area.
  11.  The wheel of justice though slow,  is moving in a right direction to ensure that guilty gets exemplary punishment.

If however you persist with right process there is always hope for justice : Watch Shawshank Redemption  to understand it 🙂

Ray of hope

Keep soldiering

Asaram and enjoying general body pleasures without consent or approval

The girl is suffering from a chronic mental state which draws her close to the men ” farted out the great Ram Jethmalani trying to defend his client Asaram. Read the defense

Asaram, the revered Guru fell from grace and is in jail now for raping a girl. It has come out that he raped not only one complainant but myriad of others too.

Lets look at this perspective from Asaram’s angle and analyze this incident with respect to other crimes people in certain honorable positions do . ( Previous posts on fraud accounting by splitting expenses)

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  1.  Enjoying faith and respect out of sainthood :  Asaram  enjoys a faith and following because of his beard, long hair, sanskrit mantra he chants.  Masses can hear those mantras but can barely understand them . There are some  souls around us who grow long hair, repeat how great and holi company they work in. They chant Baaai laaaa..j which you have never read or will never have time to read.  Beware of these wolves around. In India, we are conditioned to respect those who look like sadhus but respect should be given on behaviour. Read this
  2.  Stooges and chants on Acts of good faith : Asaram has greed, lust and arrogance because of his large following. There are and were his stooges who treat/ treated him like god’s incarnation. They feel its their Dharma to defend all his Kaam + Karma. The group around Asaram believed, the charges against him were false, baseless, of malafide intent. The charges were driven by a hidden agenda of the girl because the girl wanted to do something illegal and unauthorized or become famous. At one point Asaram claimed he cant rape because he cant have erections ( The potency test got the snake out of the hole ).  Some real wise men told the girl that going open with charges against Asaram will have ” HUGE REPERCUSSIONS “, the girl will be destroyed. You will have similar people in your society who are equivalent. These when talked about the misconduct of criminals will say , “We trust him “,  “Reporting this will have repercussions” and finally without getting the facts declare that – “X has done an act of good faith, he is a jolly good fellow “. One person said, its irregularity but not criminality.

This Act of good faith is what amuses me most and I want to discuss this deeper in this article.  Advocate Jethmalani is trying to build a theory that the girl was in a great need to get Bapu’s proximity.  Bapu was always benevolent , he figured out this particular girl and many others who needed his bodily blessings. He wanted to do Uddhar for the girl. Bapu also believed that he didnt need the consent of general body of the girl( Or even her general mind) to go ahead with the act.  Bapu was convinced that once he is done with his act, he will be able to justify the little cost and benefits of rape to the girl for approval . She will keep quiet. In fact many girls have kept a total quiet.  The gratuitous act done by Bapu in his opinion and opinion of his stooges has cured the hapless girls of all the biggest problem they were having in their lives.

We now know where the great Bapu has landed up with his great assumptions, convictions and where the stooges defending will end up.

Now I show you the excerpt of justification given in  writing to the Deputy Registrar of societies , Pune , by the Chairman of my society. This was in response to the complaint I submitted for spending 2.75 lakhs on CCTV where we gave an approval of 75K only.

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Now, put the General body of my society in place of that girl. The girl probably gave consent to let the Bapu put his fingers on her head. What Bapu with his fingers did, is now a matter of criminal investigation. What  consent girl gave and what Bapu  does have a difference of 4x and above.  There is little to guess whether it was benign to girl or gratuitous to his great HOLI libido.  The well wishers of Bapu are screaming hell on the girl who was raped.  The dharmadhikaris are  shouting, this will damage the fabric of sainthood. Somebody just said that its hidden agenda of Congress to malign the great Swamis. There are some monkeys who are jumping up and down not on the lecherous act of Bapu but on unsubstantiated  nymphomania of the girl . There are stooges who are attacking the police officers who are fighting to prosecute the rapist Bapu.

I have expereinced this kind of babagiri in very close proximity.  Just like Bapu’s sympathizers some sympathizers are asking me why I am raising these issues of corruption in my society now?

There is a time for everything.  Its important for people to understand facts, take sides  and understand the wolverines

Splitting the expenses and fraud accounting

2 weeks ago, I wrote a post on how people with questionable values lead  to collapse of propriety in a housing society. How it affects the citizen mindset in the whole country.

I had 2 options to deal with this ugly situation :

1. Crib at the errant and ugly behavior of office holders. // Easy and practiced by many.

2. Do some concrete action to restore propriety and my own faith in the system. // Its was as difficult or as instinctive to me as confronting a drunk molester in a running bus. The  story of confronting molester is here

The majority in my society exercised option 1.

The option 2, I exercised put me up fighting against a group of people ensconced and fortified on a hill ( Just like Kargil intruders ). They have a war chest of society resources (  Maintenance money worth lakhs, legal advisors, security, accountants etc)  to harass me.

As always, its unnerving for most individual crusaders to fight the alligators in pond.  A rational man is advised by friends to give up under provocations.

Look at one suggestion from a well wisher on facebook :

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I accepted the suggestion to be an Aam aadmi , An aam aadami , today is frustrated with the corruption and willing to take to streets.  Many of the aam aadamis may fail, bleed during the trsyst  but their is light at the end of tunnel.  There are some glorious instances where a single guy brought down an entire army of crooks by following the right path of truth example  J . B Patel of Panchwati society,  Andheri Bombay :http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2012-10-15/news/34473028_1_society-office-bearers-jayant-patel

Even without knowing his inspiring story, I  had gone ahead on the confrontational path.  The following is what I did.

  1.  Filed a complaint with Dy Registrar of society, Pune. Explained how there is a possibility of serious SCAM and immediate inquiry should begin . The inquiry should begin with sacking of office holders.
  2.  Sent a copy to Joint Registrar of Society. He manages Dy Registrar.
  3. Sent an email to CM office of Maharashtra . He forwarded the case to Secretary of state ( Co operatives)
  4. Demanded from office holders full life cycle documents of questionable transactions and a detailed list of bank transactions.
  5. Engaged a top ranking CA to investigate all documents.

Why I did this ?

Sometimes, its easy for accused to bribe/influence/threaten a small officer. Its however, beyond their capacity to buy 3 levels of high officials in the system. I tightened accountability at three levels to prevent this. Further, demanding and getting full lifecycle documents upto the current date leaves very little to accused to manipulate the documents at later stage.

Fraud

What were the results ?

The Ad Hoc committee went vengeful. It complained not against me but against my little startup.

  • Electricity Deptt : Inspectors came, searched my startup, searched my entire home and said, I just need to readjust the tarriff to commercial rate.
  • Corporation license Deptt : Inspector came and told me to get a license to operate business in municipal area. He asked me the intent of why society secretary did a written complaint. I showed him the cases they are embroiled and how even the CM office has acknowledged the complaint. He understood and said, we wont harass you at all.  Apply for a license, it just costs Rs 1000/= he said and we will fully co-operate with you. I smiled and said, I will do it.
  • Police Deptt : Local chowki summoned me to police station. I went with my wife to the police station. I was asked about illegality of my startup in residential area. I showed them Maharashtra IT act of 2010 which allows IT companies to work from residential areas. They didnt ask me any further. Read the blog on how IT companies can legally operate from residential complexes : http://www.wicfy.com/blog/working-from-apartment-is-legal-for-it-companies-startups/
  • Society Security    The Secretary  told the security to harass the employees of startup by. Not letting them park their bikes in authorized parking area.Sometimes they even prevented their bikes from entering the society. They made them to sign register everytime they came in an out of society. 

Thus, the accused were exhausted of their arsenal. The amount of harassment was coming to an end. My business just emerged stronger from all these harassment. The employees rallied around me in these tough situation because I kept everything transparent.  The values I hold, the fight I take and the possible consequences.

Now comes the funniest part.  When, the accused had little to defend themselves, they resorted to dirtiest tricks which crooks in  Govt or Corporate world resort to i.e Splitting of expenses.

Please see the image of response given to me by the Society secretary.

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Also, the accused, thinking the residents to be Dumb and weird, appointed their sympathizers to do an investigation and award them a clean chit. Recall how Gadkari had got himself a clean chit by  a person he appointed to investigate his own crimes ?

This also reminded me of my days in central govt.  Procurement in such large organization happens either centrally or locally. There is huge amount of money made by some people at central level but its more interesting at local level

At local levels for any transaction above Rs 5000/= needs a CLPC approval ( Central logistics purchase committee ). This CLPC comprises 3 independent officers and give approvals for any purchase above limit. Also they examine all the quotations.

Now if everything  goes through CLPC How do people at local levels misappropriate public money ?

Ans: Splitting of expenses. Any thing which is to be bought for 9900/= is split in two purchases of 4950/= each and can be bought with or without quotations.  At one stage I saw that there were 350 transactions, all between 4900 and 4999/=. This is how  people with corrupt intent try to loot public money.

I realized that people do not bring in good things of their experience in large systems to the society but ugly , dirty and corrupt practices are rapidly brought in . Even  in such small theater as housing society, this disease of splitting of expenses is brought in. Though the annual budget is as low as 40 lakhs.

Whats the way to rein in such ugly practice?

I consulted the Registrar and he suggested requesting a govt audit of all books of accounts and processes under section 89 of Mah CHS act. This independent inquiry by a govt auditor may reveal a lot more irregularity and doesnt cost much.  For a society its Rs 37/member/year of audit requested.  So for my society of 200 members, it would cost me Rs 7400/= approx.

We had seen creative accounting done by Ramalingam Raju ( Satyam Fame ) and how the reputed CA Pricewater house Coopers was party to crime of splitting salary expenses of ghost employees .  Well that was a 1000 crore + scam and this is worth a few lakhs.  The efforts to expose and prove the crime is more challenging till the accused are thrown out of office.

What will you do if you see such financial misconduct in your society ?

Are you aware that corruption is not just in govt, its a cancer which eats housing societies as well ?

How can you establish a clean system in your society ?

Please do share your experiences of taking the accused head on.

Demagogues – Jiyo aur jeene do

There are a lot of people sharing Mahesh Murthy’s status deriding an individual and his business scoffing a pony tail. Does an individual in a free country not have a liberty to keep an appearance his own choice and discretion? What SUCKING rights do other fatbellies or balding heads have scoffing at it?

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Does a citizen not have a right to do business of his choice in a free country Do people not sell underwears thru fetishes or encourages people to get drunk and go tully?.. Is there any thing wrong hustling ones business within legal norms and sometimes loopholes?

Dont we see blatant lies in form of Seagram music, Tuborg great evenings or Bagpiper soda ? Are they not on the edge and bordering on the wrong side of law?

While I do not encourage ban on freedom of expression of any one I am disgusted at people ( especially those from advertising industry) sermonizing others not to lie. Tell me if ICICI advertisements do not lie? or NIIT advertisements do not lie ? or Garnier showing hairs which can pull cars out of ditch do not lie ?

Advertisers, most of them in that sense are equal cheats and SCAMS and make you believe that using the product they advertise, will help you lay a 100 blondes.

One cannot assume to be a protector of parents rights and be a demagogue. Everyone knows why their kids didnt make it to Harvard or XLRI and why they are putting them in a particular College . Dont they have access to information they can navigate and find the truth?.. Checking the veracity of any claim made by any person or business is consumers responsibility. Dont we have an ASCI where grieved people can complain against advertising abuse?

Did we not see 1000 blokes last year, bribed by Google, forecasting death of Facebook and triumph of circles aka Google+? Were those the gospel truths or were they they cheats, scamsters and fraudster in equal measure ?

If there is a ban on some posts or sites ,are all legal options to upturn the ban exhausted ?

As Buddha said – “Trust the seeker of truth and mistrust the person who claims he has found it

Arvind Kejriwal’s India against corruptions- A model startup?

Arvind Kejriwal – A model startup?

Last week I wrote a post in reaction to a ‘personality‘ calling Arvind Kejriwal a moron. This post found resonance with1000s on Quora. Many promoted it across various media. Yesterday, I was at a Nasscom Emergeout event at Westin Pune and after an boring banal,cliché ridden talk by a self proclaimed startup Godfather, I was awakened by an extremely thought provoking talk by V Srinivas. He mesmerized the entire audience by giving insights on how just one word which defines entrepreneurship and that is “Purpose“. This morning, I saw that Times Crest has featured Arvind Kejriwal on front page and finally admitted that he is a “Game Changer “. I am happy that opinions are fast changing and success of one more entrepreneur is in making . I was trying to correlate Arvind’s movement and relevance to startups. Here are my thoughts:

1. 5. Purpose : An entrepreneur is born when she discovers such a BIG purpose that she can rededicate her life to it regardless of insecurities. These insecurities may be financial, physical or social. Arvind shows all three, he quit his well paying prestigious job, he is attacking the powerful (His life may be under threat now ), when he started he was derided by established players and citizens as moron. To startups he is a hero nevertheless. To startups it means finding this big purpose. Great purposes create great markets if they do not exist. Steve showed it when with a purpose to revolutionize cell phones he went into touch phone mode which was junked by Nokia in 2004 as stupid. Finding a big cause is the essence of a startup.

2. 4.Pleading and cribbing doesn’t work : For every one Arvind Kejriwal who is walking the path of fire , there are 1000s who just ‘wish‘ that the political system changes for good. There are 100s of morons who still sing praises of Congress , Mandmohan or Khurshids. Similarly, for every one startup which starts building something useful there are 1000s who will just claim google, Microsoft, daily deals or groupons are great stuffs. Cribbing, criticizing, Dharnas, Bhookh hartals may be good beginnings but the real change happens when you drive the  bus or can influence the driver. Getting in to the ring works , you have to go out and start fighting to make a difference. You cant clean the gutter by being outside it. Those in the gutter are minting money and spreading the stink for us. We need to get in, kill the scoundrels who are blocking the cleansing process. The fortifications in gutter
are robust but we need to get into it and dislodge.

3. 3.Ekla Cholo Re : When you startup you will have co founders. They will appear good at the start, show some degree of commitment but only the determined will burn their boats. Anna kept jumping back to his boat Ralegan Siddhi, Kiran Bedi always found a BJP ticket from South Delhi sexy. The guys who don’t burn their boats will always have disagreement with those who have. Those with purpose will keep walking ahead. Those with other safe constituency will be indecisive. Love your purpose, people will come and go in your journey towards a purpose. Whenever they wish to go back to their safe boats, let them go. Be a Johnie Walker, keep walking, you may not know how the paths will turn out to be but be confident there will definitely be some new ones discovered, or they will be created by your journey.

4. 2.Attack the holy cows , be brave and be stupid : One great thing Arvind and startups can afford to do is be irreverent to
holy cows. Arvind attacked Vadra(He is moron ), he incorporated is startup ( He was a moron to start with ). He doesn’t have decent chances to win against Giants like Congress, BJP, Mulayam. You do not have decent chances of winning against Googles, Facebooks or Microsofts or Cisco,but be irreverent, attack all places where they suck. Attack all places where these corporations have been unethical abusing your privacy. When you bring them to the fore, the pimps of these big corporations will call you stupid , moron but persist and relentlessly attack the unethical and inefficient. Speak fearlessly.

Taking the gas out of politicians

5.
1.Set the mission from within and do whatever it takes : The purpose of Arvind emanates from within. A deep desire to cleanse the politics and establish greatest form of governance, are what drives him. The purpose of political parties comes from outside i.e their constituencies their corrupt figure heads, their caste, their holy family, their religion, power grabbing etc . Startups similarlyneed to be driven by their inner purpose to make world better for their target users, customers. They need to be driven by their internal intuitions of what is best for their users , not what the users think is best for them. Great products, services are not made from what customers want because they do not have awareness of what can most delight them. You need to out think your customers to create elements of delight.

Conclusion : Arvind Kejriwal is an entrepreneur with a big purpose, his purpose is his business model . He doesnt have a revenue model but he does have a success model and I believe he, like all great entrepreneurs will figure it out.. Corporate India and VCs tell they invest in great team. He doesn’t possess world class team but his team will become world class during the course of this movement. Great teams are born out of war, they are not created in assembly shops. He is a first mover and is covering a good mindshare. As in reality there are some people who are investing in his purpose and also there are doubtful investors playing
pocket polo to invest in him when he gets enough traction so that they can make a quick buck . Yes and like all startups you can tell about the exit opportunity.


What a sucky judicial system we have ?

 

Day 1 :  West Bengal CM lets her gas out on the Indian judicial system saying – “Its judgement can be bought by paying some small money “. She takes only say 10 seconds to pass this statement.

Day 3 : The conscience  of  proponents of justice  takes 48 hours to get enough arousal to approach courts and take legal action. First action takes 2* 24*60*60 = 172800 or 17.28 thousand times

Day 6 : The court asks TOI and newspapers  to give and affidavit that their reportings are true .. gives them 15 days.  This is 7.5x of the time taken for first reaction  and 1.29 Mn times the offense time.

Day 30 : THe court will deliberate on it this makes it 2.58 Mn times the offense time.

Day 60 : The earliest time  the court will dispose off the case. 5.16 Mn times. By this time , the arousal of aggrieved party will die down.

 

Result : Either Mamata will get away with it paying say Rs 500  .. or she will apologize ..

Does any of this satisfy you that justice will be done ? What a sucky judicial system we have ? Even if some one farts and if thats an offense , it will take 5.16 million times the duration to dispose off.

Paani Dhandha (Water tankers) – The clandestine business of elected

As I was stepping out of my car, I saw a water tanker coming in to our apartment society. Curiously, I tried to read the name of water supplier painted on the tanker. The name was Mayur Bhau Kalate. The name looked familiar. Just three months ago,  this person had contested and won the municipal council election.

Why do I remember his name ?

I do because my maid told me that she is going to vote for him. I asked why. She said because someof his election manager has paid her 2000/= in cash . He has also given her a silver bowl. I asked if she was the only one who got paid. She said, no!! every one in the servants’ colony have been paid. Rs 2000/ family.

I was wondering about the economics of it. How many families did he have to buy to win the elections. How will he recover ?

Our society doesnt get its normal share of water from the corporation. It kills the business of the councillor if we get enough water. Why should he allow. He has spent enough in elections . Now is his time to get RoI and also prepare a corpus for next bigger election.

We have an Agriculture minister who owns numerous sugar mills. Why should he not increase the price of sugar every now and then ? Why should he not let millions of tonnes of food grains rot in ware house if all these lead to his gain

I realized, its just people like me, living in socieities who are funding their wealth and prosperity.

What is the solution ?

I guess ,the following may change things :

  1. State funding of elections : When people have to pump money to win elections, there is no way to regulate it. The amount of money wealthy candidates can pump in makes it impossible for any one else to even give a fight.
  2. Media CSR : Electronic media and print media as a part of their CSR should be made to allott a portion of their inventory to every body contesting for free of a minor fee. Even poorer candidates ca get their message across. Every candidate gets same exposure.
  3. Common Election meetings : A standard platform should be made where each candidate can come and talk on a holiday about her value as representative. Celebrities can perform to attract and retain the crowds.

My belief is : If we take the money and corruption out of electoral process, many a problem may just become less by huge margins . What is your recipe

10 reasons why Dinesh Trivedi should be screwed not praised for across the board hikes

I didnt see the budget.  I do not really know where Mr Dinesh Trivedi is coming from. I have only seen the bottomline of what he has done. That bottomline reads-  “Fares hiked across the board “. The media is going Ga Ga over what a progressive step. He is a brave man. etc. See some of the links below. I do  not have time and inclination to see what and how he has hiked the fares across all the categories. I wont waste my time on it .

I see the need to increase the revenue for railways as a long pending need. This need is very much like a 28 year old virgin starving to have sex. He can either be creative, charismatic and innovative to find a partner and satiate his need or he can have the easy option.  He can go out and pay for the sex and get instant gratification. Yes, it does require courage to go to a whore and do it but it doesnt require a brain for which he can be praised. There is nothing in this act for which kudos can be showered.

Any service for which there are lakhs of captive users there can be 100s of ways of monetizing if you apply your head properly. Some examples :

  1.  Run latest movie shows in long distance trains . Give them good wide screen and great acoustic system. Charge normal movie rates. Bored passengers can pre book shows.
  2.  Run cyber cafes and allow people to access net for a charge.
  3.  Do special discounted rate product sales like airlines.
  4. Do out of home advertisement in all compartments.
  5.  Provide proper branded SPA services in the moving train.
  6. Open a bar let guys drink in moderation. // Put in proper Bouncers.
  7. Provide premium food // People pay Rs 150 for Biryani in flights and many of air passengers often travel on trains
  8. Let some private players also run trains in select routes like Delhi- Jaipur // Tatas would love to run it
  9. Provide special coaches dedicated to E commerce companies between metros daily . // They will ship crazy amounts
  10. Put 1000s of displays which can be displayed to lakhs of captive passengers every day. // It can bring in Ad revenues bigger than IPL

The fuckwits like Trivedi  do not deserve kudos  for being so mendicant and moronic to effect an across the board hike. What he deserves is : Kick on the ass

and Mamata has rightly given it.

A stupid article by Vivek Sahai, Former Chairman, Railway Board  praises him for total lack of creativity http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/opinion/guest-writer/rail-budget-2012-kudos-to-railway-minister-for-hiking-passenger-fares-says-vivek-sahai-former-chairman-railway-board/articleshow/12271039.cms?adcode=5

Advertising Agencies -3 reasons why the consumer doesnt believe you.

Dear Advertising agencies,

I am a consumer and you chase every moment of my awakened life with your creations trying to derive the longest mileage of the budget your lords give you. It pisses me off. You started encroaching my privacy everywhere. You dig deep into what I search on google. You check every little action I do on my face book. You appear irritatingly in lift lobbies, airports, as newspaper flyers, on my blogs ( Even when I dont like or allow you to ), you scream on the railway wagons, you put ugly hoardings all over my city spoiling its architecture. You appear to be sending shitty smses, you erupt like an eyeshore and cover my screen when I am reading an article on web. You come camouflaged as front page of National news and business papers. I tolerated you and your total chronic deficit of creativity when you have limp wristed Bollywood eunuchs  pose with a fairness cream or toothpaste close to their faces. I have endured and tolerated all this sacrilege  till date. I have ignored your stupid, in the face campaigns which appear between news and TV programs. Today, however , I have seen you at your dirtiest. For a 1 minute video which I tried to show my kid on you tube, you started showing and ugly piece of ad from idea and airtel.  This has got screaming mad about how worthless and a pests you have become. Let me call you a spade in 3 distinct observations.

Do stupid exaggerations like this make you buy underwears

1.  Celebrities do not make me to buy a product : You are such dumbwits that every time a corporate house talks an ad budget you scramble to hire a Bollywood bimbette or a stupid Kooda Kir cut player.  The millions you put down the drain by letting a Tendulkar endorse a Fiat palio sells only 80 cars across India. The UP elections have shown that the consumer is highly anti rhetoric.  She doesnt get over awed by a chikni chamdi or some god forsaken surname. Get the men/ women on street to send your message. . We know that some sunset super star can cajole you to make his son a brand ambassador for some stupid ads and you can bribe the brand equity guys to declare it as a best ad. For us it will always be bekaar. Suzuki swift doesnt have any celebrity endorsing it, yet its one of the most aspirational car Indians are ga ga over and wait for 6 months rather than an endorsed i10 or i20 . Genuine conversations about products do the job. Dont cheat the corporate houses if you are ineffective in creating good ads.

2.  More impressions do not translate to brand creation  : If I see a stupid inkfruit or flipkart advertisement every where I go, it vexes me . It doesnt make me feel good about the brand. It makes me feel how desperate the brand is. Its like a stupid lass throwing herself all over me. This takes me all the way away from the bed. I wont court  your Client’s brand. Be slightly mysterious and underexposed . Make me to search for your ad on google or facebook . I  will be more conditioned and receptive to your message. Do not overexpose.

3. Exaggeration is not creativity : The only track you follow in your thoughts is exaggeration and constantly overshoot it to our chagrin.  We are not dumbs. 3G is not contraceptive. We know that even sluts do not go crazy over a deodorants. Fair skin doesnt translate into great careers or confidence. Underwear brand can drive some kind of sluts (only you know) into tents. When I go out to buy a watch, I care for the finish, its style , its design and care a damn about  the celebrity endorsing it . In fact, many a times I believe that you are fattening these ugly endorsers by creating a hole in consumer pocket. The POMs really taught you a mindless way to create advertisements by keeping your head buried.  This turns me away from the brand. Can you just focus on creating small stories and conversations which appeal to our intellect. Can you please work on your credibility deficit ? Seeing the poor balance of creativity and originality in advertisements , ” Yeh Desh ubal raha hai ”