The Spanish torture – one

You don’t have to project anything on screen”, the words came raining like   parabolic arrows from the minister sitting 20 feet across me.  They hit my forehead and stuck. Just a good vacuum cup of cellphone holder grabs to the windshield of a car, they stayed there holding my senses tightly. I was silenced.  I was watching the bald patch of this tall man as he drowned himself into reading the colored printouts of my deck.  His arrival into the conference room had brought in a death like silence in room which just seconds ago, was as boisterous as a kindergarten class in absence of a teacher.

I came to terms that I was not going to be allowed to talk today. Someone was consuming my work of over a month. I could hear my breaths. The tension in the room was palpable. Every pair of eyes was focused at the minister, raising his right hand to lick his middle and ring finger and then go down to turn the pages of the 12 slide deck.

There are only 2 outcomes as I was meeting a high influence person. An approval or a reprimand.  These were manifesting in my mind as:

  1. Be ready to be told, your work is CRAP”, said the Client manager as I finished my rehearsal before the meeting. “He is opinionated, has an aesthetic sense of his own and doesn’t mince words”.
  2. Your work is good “, he may say.

 

I was reveling on the later outcome.

SpanishTorture

 

He had devoured my work completely in not more than 10 minutes. “I am ready to take the decisions” , the minister rose up to say . “Project the options”. The verdict, the judgment was going to be out.  I would be vanquished or survive the judgment by a person as sharp as Ronaldo in the penalty area …

 

I rose up..

 

[To be continued…. ]

Then they wake up

First they deny‬ it
‪Then they huddle to save rapists‬

Then they cry Congi conspiracy ‬
‪Then they sing WhatAboutFuckery‬

Then they get shamed.‬
‪Then they get shit slammed

‬Then they get consumed by outrage‬
‪Then the courts  fuck them‬

Then they get in stony silence
‪Then their pooches turn verbally violent

‪Then they  fear sliding votebank
‪Then they are scared of losing power.

‪Then they open their smelly mouths‬
‪Then they shed their crocodile tears,

‪Then they say our folks were misled‬
‪Then they make their beasts resign

Then they tweet their fake empathy‬
‪Then they fart ugly  generalism‬

‪Then they open their jumla stock‬
‪Then they say its Everyone’s job(!!!)

Feku

‪#SexStarvedSanghiBeasts

Curious cases of trimmed beard crooks

A tight slap landed on the cheek of my elder cousin. It was my grandfather’s solid right hand with a 120 degree swing. He was all rage when he looked at him. An imprint of 5 fingers appeared on his cheek which was stylized like this

bearded

 

My cousin had just returned from a barber shop after getting his beard stylized and trimmed. I couldn’t fathom the reason for my grandpa’s raze and I didn’t have courage to ask him the reason for the assault.  The cousin went back to the barber shop and asked him to shave off his beard, leaving a clean trimmed mooches.

The question bugged me for days. I wondered about the extreme vexation of my grandfather but couldn’t reason it out .

On a happy day when he was in a playful mood, I asked him about the incident.  He told me that it was apa sanskriti( blasphemy) to keep a beard like that. Its not part of our ethos. I asked why. He said its against Hindu culture to trim and keep a beard like that. Either you let it grow naturally or you cut it off.  Only cheats manipulate it and keep it like that (trimmed) . As an upright Hindu, either you are clean shaven or keep a mouche or a beard in its natural state. He cited Tagore, Vashisht, Aurobindo as having natural untrimmed beard. Never trim it like an ugly crook if you have a character

He further showed me all the scriptures and books in his collection. From Vishnu, to Shiva to Indra to Ram to Yudhisthira to Parashuram to Ashoka to Chandaragupta, to Prithviraj to Rana Pratap to Shivaji to Chandrashekhar azaad to Bhagat Singh to Subhash Bose to Lal Bahadur Shastri . He said no man worth his character, ever kept a trimmed beard. As per him, it was a sign of a lout, a traitor or a treacherous jackal/wolf

I jogged my memory hard and was trying to find one icon who was adorable Hindu and kept a trimmed beard but couldn’t find even one. Some of the most repulsive characters in history books were shown to have trimmed beard and they included Alauddin Khilji and Shaista Khan. I finally gave up and accepted it as my grandfather’s hypothesis or pseudo science. A trimmed beard has little to do with misconduct.

Later in my life, my father got cheated by 2 folks and as matter of coincidence both of them had trimmed beard. I am curious if there ever has been a righteous Hindu who kept trimmed beard. As a rationalist, I do not see strong correlation between treachery and trimmed beard .

I  now realize that there is a filmstar who keeps a trimmed beard who owns a fleet of Mercs but cheats the govts by claiming that he is a farmer. He siphons of money from India to Panama and launders money big time. He has his name on paradise papers.

I know of a  liquor baron who has trimmed beard . He looted Indian banks and was nudged to fly away with 7 suit cases before he could be arrested. He has been a traitor and cheat of highest order.

I still believe that there may be very loose correlation between being  a Hindu male with trimmed bear and being a fraudster or a cheat. I have seen , only from a distance, a   trimmed stylized bearded politician  making ass of a billion Indians. He  has been selling   hallucinations of Achchhe din  and just making ass of a billion Indians.

 

Naturalist bows down

Continues from my last post 

My body has been medicine free for last 40 yrs “ boasted my father, while taking a sharp breath sounding like shoo, as the doctor injected the needle on his bum.

I have inherited this trait from my father. For the last few years ( 5+), I have gulped no medicine . Even when there was a 1.5 inch diameter wound on my knee, I trusted keeping it clean and open to facilitate natural self healing.  This time, however was different, a frozen spine and only 2 days left to fly. I had a choice to stick to my values or do something artificial to get going.  I tried various stretches, lying on the floor.  Pulling my knees towards the chest, on the same side and then other side. Crossing my ankle on other knee and pulling the knee again. Keeping the knees such that they made a triangle with ground and then twisting them side by side (Just as women do after child birth to get rid of belly fat). I tried touching my toes while feet outstretched but the gulf had grown to a feet plus. I just couldn’t do it. None of these could make me sit without pain.  Having tried balms, lotions, hot water bottle and cold pack, I finally decided to go and seek medical help.

19d6c58793357d0a98652174120bdb54

The orthopedic did his routine check and found no evidence of bone injury and concluded that it was muscular. I was ushered into a room of a physio therapist. She was a petite, young beauty, well built, muscular but this was no time to appreciate or revel in it.  She sensed the trauma I was in and made me lie face down.  As she rubbed electrolyte at various places on my back and attached electrodes, I told her of my plan of glacial trek. I requested her to do whatever in her control to ameliorate. I was not giving up on this trip. As she increased the impedance of the machine, the electrodes started oscillating at manic frequency. I shrieked in pain, as those impulse sent all my back muscles from behind my lungs to bums in a frenzy. Those electric impulses hit me like a storm. She stopped increasing the intensity. Here, I was undergoing heavy impulse vibrations on all my muscles which had pain trapped somewhere in them.

You will have to get it 3 times today and tomorrow and gulp these anti-inflammatory tablets to get anywhere even close to travel.  I was in a meek surrender and agreed to do whatever it takes.  Next 2 days were spent oscillating between home and physio therapy center. The medicines did their own thing. At end of the day 2 , she examined my back . I had healed completely and was cleared to take off.

I was on my way to solo travel to mystic Himalayas, totally happy of having gone beyond my basic belief to do a pragmatic thing.

Spine freezes over

July 2015, Pune : A needling pain rose up my spine, as I braked my car pulling up the parking ramp. As I turned off the ignition and took the keys out in my hand. I was still assessing the state of my back. I unlocked the door and tried to turn right, but found my torso frozen. My knee won’t come up without me pulling it up with both hands. This was an abject state of health which had come at the worst time.

Backpain

2 days from now, is my ticket to Chandigarh, my gateway to glacial mountain in Dharamshala, Himalayas. This is the trip, which had always eluded me and the one, my heart most desired.  Here I was, desirous of a treacherous trek when I was struggling even for basic body movement.

12 yrs ago, all alone in a hot and humid room at Bathinda, I had just finished reading “The razor’s edge” by Somerset Maugham. It’s a story of Larry Darrell, an American pilot traumatized by his experiences in World War I, who sets off in search of some transcendent meaning in his life.  Larry travels to India and takes a no cash trip to Himalayan forest and tries to survive on whatever he could get without spending money. I was inspired, I wanted to do something similar and being in India, I will only have to fly a few hours to do it.

I had made up my mind to go exploring the mountains immediately after quitting Air Force.  This, however was not destined to happen. On the day , I hung my uniform,  I didn’t have a job, had got married an year ago and was expecting my first child.  Life had planned an adventure of different kind for me then.

July 2015, this time, the setting was perfect. Between a job switch, I had planned a 15 day interval and I was absolutely sure, nothing would come between I and this experience.

Here I was, lying on my back on a hard floor, struggling with the pain which could possibly snatch my dream trip away..

Continued in my next post  ‘Naturalist bows down”

The Paradox of Robinhood

Of all the popular fraud schemes, Robin Hood theme continues to amaze and baffle me the most.  It has defied time, mortality and eternity  and still  works in 21st century.  

Robinhood continues to be the opium of the hoi-polloi . He mesmerizes  and has a box office collection of few lakh crores as against 100 crores Bollywood craves. Lets see how it works.

A Demagogue Jholelal Fakeer who claims a peasant background, typically has a trimmed beard, a  fake 56 inch chest and may looks like the one  below. He  declares:

looter

 He is launching a WAR against the rich.  This war  will  give a  of windfall wealth (say Rs 16 lakhs in cash), to each idiot, lazy and brainless Gareeb (poor)..  Nobody will  even have to move even their ASS for.The organized loot and plunder he will do, will be distributed . Kaala dhan from kaale log will tana tan flow into to gareeb’s accounts JanDhan .

 OMFG (Oh my fucking god), this creates mammoth erection among all bhakts and dolts. .  Fakeer smiles inwards as he knows, he needs to deliver nothing. The drunken imbecile dolts are already doing Naagin dance and  high on this opium.

Pandemonium reigns. Popularity breaks the roofs…  Just 31% fools are enough to drown the remaining 69% population which can think. Fakeer grabs the power and continues to make an ass of fools

 Once ensconced, the scoundrel ( Fakeer) changes the gear. He actually does a raid and loots on the poor. In the suffering, he tells the idiots that they are doing a service to nation.  New and higher cess  emerge on every thing. Higher and wider taxes are declared. Greater curbs are put on the cash. This brings majority of money from poor under Scoundrel’s control.

  The Fakeer now starts living in  a palatial million square feet bungalow in a top metro, wears Rs 12 lakh suits, rides a fleet of BMW 750i,  flies the world in luxury Chartered planes. As a homo throws himself on any sexy male he encounters. All the while he maintains a mask of a Fakeer, a messiah and a humble peasant.

He subsequently  siphons the cash pile back to rich industrialists, bureaucrats, bankers and Pigs who were active or silent accomplishes in the fabled Robin hood raids. This siphoning is done in forms of loan restructuring, interest waivers and huge contracts (Statue making)

The scoundrels thus are Nibor Dooh (Robinhood spelled backwards) and paradoxically rob and kill the poor, not the other way as believed or perceived.

Mrs India and the Rascal

Mr G India is on a romantic road, walking hand in hand with his beautiful wife.. They have been married for 2 yrs now . 
lovers-walk
 
Suddenly a rascal appears from behind. He hugs his wife (Mrs India) and then starts smooching her. Its not one but 17 solid smooches in 3 minutes all over.. There are more things Mr Rascal is doing but I wont go into those graphic details just for now.. 
 
Mr India is embarased. He wonders, what can he do ?
 
He knows that this Rascal, in his pocket, has a “Lambi gun“.
 
Mr India also has a gun in his pocket. Its definitely a “Bigger gun” and he is aware of it . He inserts his hands in pocket and pulls out.
 
He starts shooting, the rascal ….. not with his gun but with his iPhone 7. The 12 MP dual rear camera with telephoto lens vividly starts capturing the video. Mr India will include this in a Dossier of proof he will show to the Rascal after he is done with the act.
 
Needless to say, Mr India had also shared with Rascal, the videos of previous occasions when Rascal had smooched/ kissed and .. his wife. Its another story that Rascal demanded that he should  visit Mr India’s home and see all the areas of Mrs India’s body where there are evidences of assault i.e  love bites, bruises etc.
Mr India obliged to this request. Rascal came to India house.. did a deep inspection on Mrs India’s body. He said nothing at their house but after he went back, he declared that, the love bites, bruises on Mrs India’s body were all staged.. These a result of violent love making by Mr India himself.
 
Coming back to current molestation, Mr India  has disengaged Mr Rascal and has captured some cognizable evidences. Having done the ceremonial “CONDEMN” of Mr Rascal, he plans to make MMS of this incident and make it go viral. This will help him get condom (oops) “CONDEMN” from all the rich phamous and powerFools …..
 
The biggest dilemma of Mr India is :
 
If he confronts the molester head on, Rascal’s best friend Mr China may screw him from behind. Mr India currently doesn’t have capability to handle dual assault. His fight doctrine says, he can only handle one assault at a time..  Fight can only be with either Mr Rascal or Mr China, not both together . Apart from this, confrontation time means Mr India cant open his grocery shop and that means losing money ( A big crime for Mr Grocer India’s value system)
 
So as of now , the best course of action for him is to :
a) Cry loudly … keeping the tail nicely tucked between the legs.
 
b) Do all the talks : Something like, I will deal with Mr Rascal at the time of my chosing // This means people should not keep asking him how he avenges molestation of his beautiful wifey ..
 
c) Isolate Mr Rascal:  Get him named as a habitual molester or rapist of worst kind. Whatever is possible 😉 // At time of writing, the pet dogs of  Mr India have begun dancing/ celebrating the hints of some Phamous pholks isolating Mr Rascal. For example Mr and Mrs P  Russia have decided not to attend the party Mr Rascal has planned towards end of this month ..