Mrs India and the Rascal

Mr G India is on a romantic road, walking hand in hand with his beautiful wife.. They have been married for 2 yrs now . 
lovers-walk
 
Suddenly a rascal appears from behind. He hugs his wife (Mrs India) and then starts smooching her. Its not one but 17 solid smooches in 3 minutes all over.. There are more things Mr Rascal is doing but I wont go into those graphic details just for now.. 
 
Mr India is embarased. He wonders, what can he do ?
 
He knows that this Rascal, in his pocket, has a “Lambi gun“.
 
Mr India also has a gun in his pocket. Its definitely a “Bigger gun” and he is aware of it . He inserts his hands in pocket and pulls out.
 
He starts shooting, the rascal ….. not with his gun but with his iPhone 7. The 12 MP dual rear camera with telephoto lens vividly starts capturing the video. Mr India will include this in a Dossier of proof he will show to the Rascal after he is done with the act.
 
Needless to say, Mr India had also shared with Rascal, the videos of previous occasions when Rascal had smooched/ kissed and .. his wife. Its another story that Rascal demanded that he should  visit Mr India’s home and see all the areas of Mrs India’s body where there are evidences of assault i.e  love bites, bruises etc.
Mr India obliged to this request. Rascal came to India house.. did a deep inspection on Mrs India’s body. He said nothing at their house but after he went back, he declared that, the love bites, bruises on Mrs India’s body were all staged.. These a result of violent love making by Mr India himself.
 
Coming back to current molestation, Mr India  has disengaged Mr Rascal and has captured some cognizable evidences. Having done the ceremonial “CONDEMN” of Mr Rascal, he plans to make MMS of this incident and make it go viral. This will help him get condom (oops) “CONDEMN” from all the rich phamous and powerFools …..
 
The biggest dilemma of Mr India is :
 
If he confronts the molester head on, Rascal’s best friend Mr China may screw him from behind. Mr India currently doesn’t have capability to handle dual assault. His fight doctrine says, he can only handle one assault at a time..  Fight can only be with either Mr Rascal or Mr China, not both together . Apart from this, confrontation time means Mr India cant open his grocery shop and that means losing money ( A big crime for Mr Grocer India’s value system)
 
So as of now , the best course of action for him is to :
a) Cry loudly … keeping the tail nicely tucked between the legs.
 
b) Do all the talks : Something like, I will deal with Mr Rascal at the time of my chosing // This means people should not keep asking him how he avenges molestation of his beautiful wifey ..
 
c) Isolate Mr Rascal:  Get him named as a habitual molester or rapist of worst kind. Whatever is possible 😉 // At time of writing, the pet dogs of  Mr India have begun dancing/ celebrating the hints of some Phamous pholks isolating Mr Rascal. For example Mr and Mrs P  Russia have decided not to attend the party Mr Rascal has planned towards end of this month ..  

I didnt chant भारत माता and I dont

11  years after I hung my uniform as an air force officer. I am trying to remember if I ever chanted “Bharat mata ki jai” when in military. 6 years across 6+ military bases I served, how many times did I chant “Bharat mata jai “?  I  can for sure say I said “Jai Hind” a million times( Average 50+ times a day). But ” भारत माता की जय ” ?  I think  ” ZERO “. This surprises me and may be it will shock 1000s of chaddi nationalists a lot more. At epitome of national service, you do not need to chant this mantra.  I am hopeful, this is not giving an idea to some jerk in Sangh HQ to wake up and destroy the beautiful salutation culture of our glorious armed forces.

Looking back on the day when I was to take oath to defend India with all my vigour even to peril of my life, I had 2 choices

  1. Take oath on Gita or
  2. Just affirm as an individual.

I chose to do affirmation. I didnt swear putting my right hand on Gita or Sita. 22 of my 24 course mates did but I believed that the commitment I make as an individual, in my full conscience and wisdom doesnt need crutch of any religion or book. I was questioned why I wont take oath on Gita though I am a Hindu? I answered that my flavor/vision of Hinduism is not congruent to everything that Gita preaches. My argument was accepted. Imagine doing this in any other religious or theocratic nation, I will be labelled blasphemist and bled to death. To me, this is the most solid idea of India Hinduism and its grandiose सहिष्णुता

Growing up, I thought the God factory in heaven(ऊपर) stopped producing Devis+ Devtas+ Maatas+ Baaps in 560 BC ( After Buddha) but reality is quite different. Today, as I see a lot of irritating jingoism on “Mata” chant. A quick search on  Bharat mata  reveals that it was first conceived in a fictitious play , Bhārat Mātā by Kiran Chandra Bannerjee . It was first performed in 1873. So, in reality is it not just another figment of imagination of this Bhodro (Baangali) playwright during British rule?. Whats so sacred about it?

The story on Bharat mata can be read here

Surprisingly, anyone can add few additional pairs of limbs, put a lion/tiger+ sun halo behind, add one  weapon in each hand, top it up with a mukut and lo, a new deviji / maataji, baapji is created. Practically there is nothing stopping imaginative folks from creating Maratha maata, Patna Maiya, Guntoor Tanni or say JhoomariTalaiya maa. All it takes in this digital age is Photoshop.  Blockheads can claim that not bowing to it is against Nationalism / Regionalism or city / Mohallaism

I agree, “Mata/Mataram” did become a battle cry for some freedom fighters but so did ” Bole so Nihal, Allah u akbar or Har Har mahadev or, Joi ma kaali or Jai Gorkhali or Chak de fatte. Everyone had a choice to pick the battle cry which galvanized folks around to fight a common battle. It was the pluralism of battle cries which allowed folks to win multiple battles and ultimately the war. Every chant served some purpose just as every color contributes to make a rainbow beautiful. Pick your own indigo or orange but dont try to shove your choice of color up somebody’s…. you know what.

I had always been critical of deification of objects in Hinduism. From पाताल (Core of earth) to पेड़(tree) to पृथ्वी(earth) to penis does everything need to be a devta? This 33 Karod devi devta concept never appealed to me but I often liked एकेश्वरवाद  –  एक साधे सब सधे , सब साधे सब जाय.

soul_concious-image-events-guide-03-04

What do these mata chants have to do with a diverse, multifaith, multi ethnic pluralistic nation like India? What does it have to do with Hinduism other than its crudest form? What objective does this kind of deification handle other than

  1. Oversimplification of some objective to align the  low intellect junta around it?
  2. Create another non taxable revenue stream (Read temples) to help Birlas / Bajajs and other wealthies to run trusts around it to convert black into white and white into silvers?
  3. Celebrate a day with some silly rituals, extort money, eat up calorie bombs, create traffic nuisance and strew the rivers and oceans with a lot of garbage ?

I am not from a religion which prohibits me to bow in front of anybody other than Allah. I am not prohibited to say Jai to anyone.  As a free thinking man, my intellect revolts at mindless and reckless devification. Its utterly obnoxious to have a devata of every kind popping in front of me randomly from anywhere/ anyday expecting genuflection. I just wont do it. If a person like Javed Akhtar transgresses his religious bounds and chants Bharat mata, its his conviction and freedom to do it. If Owaisi doesnt want to say it, shouldnt he have the liberty to do it? Why should someone call him a a pig for it?

Why we debase the profound vedic shloka – जननी, जन्म भूमिश्च , स्वर्गादपि गरीयसी ( Heaven is found in the lap of mother and land of birth). Please note the usage of जन्मभूमि not मातृभूमि

We need to create more robust belief and value system around Nationalism and Hinduism in particular which can stand the onslaught of any critique or rational inquiry. Continuing to believe in ugly dogmas, stupid rituals and irrational beliefs or practicing them makes a mockery of your own intellect and our highly evolved religion.

Advantage Hinduism is: Its not driven by the communication someone received secretly in a cave. It does not shut down free constructive thought(शास्त्रार्थ) . Its not constrained or limited. The buck does not stop at any book. Not even Gita or Ramayana or Vedas can claim to be all encompassive of what Hinduism stands for. Its beautifully non prescriptive religion. It encourages you to be a contemplative and free thinking human. Empathy is what has kept this faith relevant.

आत्मनः प्रतिकूलानि परेषाम न समाचरेत.

If you wont like someone else’s ideology/faith thrust on you, do not thrust yours on them. If Hinduism could survive 600 yrs of murderous Islamic rule and 200 yrs of missionary lure, it can very well withstand ugliness emerging from within, in form of Sakshi maharajs, Amit Shahs or Muttaliks. We can evolve, we can mutate, we can create new releases, versions of our faiths, we need not create more gods, more maatas and baapas.

Recently, I was evaluating a very large enterprise software (U$ 100 Mn+ type )  for redesign with a project sponsor.  She told me – “ Everybody added a lot of crap on this software whenever they felt like but no one bothered to clean it up ever. So what you see is a lot of junk all around which makes little sense “ .. Same I believe is the case with Hinduism as a religion. Everybody when they felt like added their bit of crap, no body ever cleaned it up. So here we are with a lot of junk.

If you wish to start on some introspection of Hinduism as a faith, a good point to begin may be here :

 

 

 

Dear Omar Abdullah, no more diapers for you now.

Ëither Article 370 stays or Kashimir will not be part of India“- tweeted Omar Abdullah and it got me into recollecting Nawabjadas born into a ancestral property and too spoilt to see reason. To me he appears like another pappu ( A Kashmiri one) who has been pampered a lot. A baby in infancy is given a lot of cool things. Some examples are:

  • Umblical chord in womb (Direct delivery of nutrients to stomach, no need to masticate),
  • Breast feed (Optimally warm, sweet milk from uber soft nipples),
  • Diapers ( Freely do potty and susu whenever and wherever kid wants), and
  • A milk bottle ( Kid still gets almost same pleasure as sucking on to a human nipple) etc.

Image

All these baby stuff are good, pleasure some and are needed in those specific periods. Kids body, with this support,happiness and pleasure grows faster to soon become independent of them.
 There are however, some abnormal kids who get addicted and continue using them till they are 6 -7 years or even 12 years old. Is it not embarrassing for parents that their kid still drinks milk from poopsee , wets his pants, needs diapers or sucks thumb?
Why despite the physical age, the addiction and dependence with some kids just doesnt go away?  Is  it not the right time, for the parents to play hardball in the best interest of the kid and tell him NO means NO?
We all know this but why is it important today?
Doesnt Bhai Omar Abdullah appears to have physically grown beyond puberty?  At ripe age of 44 does he not have hairs in arm pits and elsewhere? Some grey streaks are visible on his head but has he grown mentally? He says that the only link between him and his mom (the mother India) is article 370.  Either this chord stays, or he is not son of his mother. It ends every thing for him ( and Kashmir).Image
  Is  this not exactly how a baby out of mother’s womb feels ? The umblical chord is what he thinks keeps him alive should just stay forever.He is crying, threatening, throwing tantrums, rolling on the floor, sucking his thumb all the while like Auro in Paa .
Is this article 370 not like diaper he thinks he  just cant live without. Baby Mehbooba too has joined the chorus. No body should take away their diapers, no body should cut the chords, no body should take away the poopsee bottle. Omar bhai! you and Kashmir have physically been out of womb for 40 and 54 years respectively. Has he  not grown beyond those susu in chaddi days?
Believe  us you dont need this diaper. We understand that you will cry and be angry with us when we cut it. You will rant when we make you wear pants. You will curse us when we ask you to drink milk from glass but bear with us we have to do this now.
.Image
Did the Dhais ( Congressis and Sonia Mayya)  not let you suck thumb for ages because they always knew you are not their real son?  Were they not getting paid ( Looting the nation) while you reveled in infancy.The longer your infancy, the higher was their meter down  and hence better their career earning(Votebank)
You are not used to live without diaper, it will hurt, it will feel unusual for few days, it will make you uncomfortable but do not worry, you will get used to it and grow up for your own sake. We all have given them up at some stage of life.

 

Mahila Dhritrashtra decoding the Sonia Gandhi neurons

Dhritarashtra is one of the biggest pivotal character of Mahabharata. It was he who kick started the most epic battle ever in history of mythical mankind.  Such is the immortality of learnings from this battle that we can quickly relate to repeat of  human behaviors in our current lives.  Lets see Sonia Gandhi’s love for her son Owl G for instance and assess how the analogy fits in :

The blinded, vengeful and lusty Dhritarashtra

1. Denial and vengeance : Dhrita was the eldest son and a rightful heir to Hastinapur.  He was denied the privilege of being a king because of  his disability ( Being blind ). He forever held vengeance to the injustice done to him.  Sonia led Congress party to victory in UPA -I after Sitaram Kesri has screwed it up. She was rightful to become the PM  but was denied ascendance because of technicality ( Citizenship, Non reciprocity* with Italy as a nation). // Italy doesnt allow an Indian born to become PM of Italy, so India cannot have an Italian born as PM.How many wins you have in elections and even if you lead the majority party, it doesnt matter. Sonia since then had a ever burning vengeance and wanted to avenge the denial .

Sonia

2. Blind love for son   : Dhrita was madly in love with the idea of his son becoming king of Hastinapur even though he was the least capable and totally devoid of talent. As a father, he set aside all propriety and ethics to back the cause “Duryodhan as a king“. Sonia has  followed a similar line in pushing his totally incompetent son “Pappu as PM”, to the hilt. In the middle of UPA II , Pranab Mukherjee started appearing as the tallest,  most natural and deserving leader of the party ( Crisis management, Diplomacy, Respect of opposition) . This put Sonia’s lust under threat. The way Pandavas were sent to 12 yrs of Vanavaas ( Exile) and 1 year Agyaatwas ( Incognito exile) Sonia had to send  Pranab da into a political exile. The difference being Pranab was not willing and under obligation to go on exile. Finally, Sonia put her feet down and said as long as she is alive, she cant have anyone  potent as a PM. That person will not pull his pants down when Pappu grows up. Pranab realized the Sonia has sharp teeth and she would bite. Compromisingly, he put a price to exile and agreed to be the President.

Another similarity is in the way Kauravas tried to get Pandavas killed  and their friends killed.Two of the most powerful congress leaders ( Rajesh Pilot and Madhav Rao Scindia) who could have towered to challenge Pappu, died mysterious deaths.

She backed her son against and beyond his total worthlessness ( Loss in every assembly  campaign he led and now likely the worst performance ever in Loksabha ).

The Chief con man or conspirator of Mahabharata

 

3. Shakuni and Diggi raja :  Shakuni was an uncle of Duryodhana and the biggest con man or spin doctor/ propagandist of Kauravas. He became Duryodhan’s mentor and played all ugly games to try and defeat the Pandavas. In Congress there is  Digvijay Singh ( A man of ugly morals ) mentoring  Pappu. He played all ugly games to let the ugly rule prevail.

While there are some striking coincidences in 2 threads, we do not know whether Congress just like Kauravas will get totally annihilated in the Kurukshetra of 2014 leading to a Congress Mukt bharat. We will have to wait till tomorrow.

Do you see more elements of congruence in characters or events in these 2 stories ?

Is Sonia the most apt personification of Dhritarashtra ever ( Blind to incompetence and unworthiness of Pappu)  ?

10 Candidates whose defeat will send a very progressive message from India

There are some candidates who must win to have a progressive India.  Good people who have served the nation and have done a remarkable job must win. Alas,  politics is always infested with dirt. These dirts also win and shake the faith of  people in democracy. Like in movies we want villains to die horrible death, as citizens we want stinking politicos to face horrible defeats. Wrong people winning because of money or muscle, or sperm source lead to fatalism in citizens. We all secretly and at heart wish they must lose. I know all 10 will not lose and we will never have perfect 10 but higher the score better it is.

Ugly politicians

Here are my top 10 must lose candidates and the reason why they must lose( Cutting across party lines) :

10. Ashok Chavan ( Nanded )- Congress  : The Adarsh tainted former Maharshtra CM must bite the dust to leave a 5 finger slap mark on cheek of Sonia. She was showing legality to field him overlooking propriety of criminal conduct. Janta tumhein maaf nahi karegi

9.  L K Advani  ( Gandhi Nagar ) – BJP  : The symbol of political lust must lose from Gandhinagar to give a strong message that  there is a sunset age for most demanding profession. At age of 86 , rust, lust must bite the dust. go look after your grandchildren old man. Make way

8   Kapil Sibbal  ( Chandni Chowk ) Congress : He had been one of the most hated figures for his arrogance. At one of the visits to Chandni chowk after an accident, public was so angry that he was not even allowed to come out of his car. He must loose to bring in humility in politicians.

7.  Jaswant Singh ( Jaisalmer ) Gaddar independent :  This was political ambition at its ugliest. The person who derived all the maal from the party when he could and when denied a ticket, rebelled and contested as independent. This is worst show of indiscipline. People must teach him a lesson

6. Shazia Ilmi  Malik( Ghaziabad   )  AAP  : One of the worst b****s in the politics who was advocating muslims to go communal in this election. A tight slap on her face will keep all the candidates sane in forthcoming elections.

5. Supriya Sule  ( Baramati )  NCP and other litters of big polticos : She and like other like her are infesting the political firmament and treat LS constituencies as  a Baap ki  jaageer. Her idiot cousin was threatening the voters ( Bahut masti chadhi hai kya..? Agar Supriya ko vote nahi diya to paani kaat doonga ). Other must loose in the same category are Milind( Koila Chor) Deora, Priya( Parole buying)Dutt, Sachin( Chikna) Pilot, Jyoti(Baba) Scindia, Kanimozhi ( spectrumChor), Omar( Abdulla, Abhijeet Mukherjee, Sandeep Deepshit, Jr Chidambaram, Varun (Retard) Gandhi . The message to buggers should be :  You have all the wealth and capacity to become a scientist, musician , author, sportsperson, or a artist. Dont spoil our taste by showing us your ugly pedigree.

4.  Arvind Kejriwal ( Varanasi )  AAP  : The nautanki-baaj just got too greedy after limited Delhi success. He got intoxicated and drunk with small success to think he had everything in his pocket.  Thriving on nuisance value, he has grabbed TV time by just contesting NaMO.

3. Owl Gandi ( Amethi)  Congress :  He is one of the biggest human waste to ever come out of a human. Good for nothing moron must loose for never visiting his constituency in last 5 yrs and being the most inactive MP in Loksabha in this term.

2.  Sonia Gandi ( Rae Bareilly ) Congress :  For showing her ugly colors of bribing the Shahi Imaam of Jama masjid  and seeking muslim votes under a secret deal. It was politics of the worst kind.

1. Narendra Modi ( Baroda )  Gujarat :  A PM candidate who is so unsure about his place, wants to make a political statement from a religious city, holds on to CM , MLA post and is most likely to divorce this city if wining from both . Baroda guys must hit back for being made to feel like a second wife.

 

What are your choices for must lose candidates ?

Who among these 10 you think should not lose for the reasons mentioned?

What do you think the correct message score of this election will be out of 10 ?

Interested to know your thoughts.

Cost of Life

I was on my routine cycling trip this evening. I passed through a chicken shop. I have passed through it a 1000 times without observing much. Today, I saw its rate board. It said LIVE chicken Rs 115/kg and dressed chicken Rs 130/kg.  I was thinking, defeathering the bird is an exercise involving real human labor and considering time and effort, it should at least Rs 10/= . This brings me the important figure of life of that bird . It is

Rs 130 ( LIVE)- Rs  115( defeathered and killed bird )- Rs 10 ( Cost of defeathering ) = Rs 5 ( Cost of life of that bird)

I was thinking that if after all this improvement in science , genetics, bio technolnogy even with 5 billion dollars we can’t inject life in a dead body but Rs 5 is enough to take it out of the body ?

I am not being overtly sentimental or sissy about it.  I know  it wont make an iota of difference to people who have grown up eating birds. Let alone convert even 0.0001 % of them, it even wont get a microscopic % of them into some sort of a thinking.

Its easy but its blood !!

 

The 3 questions I have are :

  1. Is the life so cheap?
  2. When we cant give life ,how do we take it ?
  3. Is it worth taking life for when 1000 other ways to fulfill hunger exist ?

 

PS: An article which says that we cant stop global warming unless we stop eating too much meat.  http://www.salon.com/2014/03/31/we_cant_stop_global_warming_unless_we_start_eating_a_lot_less_meat/

Torturous road to justice against corrupt

This is really fast ” said Mr Pandit ( name changed ) one of the resident owners. He was commenting on my impatience with the speed of prosecution. I have currently taken up a big battle to unmask massive corruption in my residential society. Distt Deputy Registrar ( DDR) and Deputy Registrar of society Pune City for societies are exchanging letters to bring the corrupt to the book. He further elaborated – ”   The first step here should be to totally insulate them; take away their right to spend our hard earned money.  “.   I had been following up with Registrar of societies ( RoS )  for last 3 months and now the formal investigation on grounds of financial crime is about to begin. The office bearers in  our  society office had illegally done spending of  our maintenance fund without General body approval. Read the original story here

Why should  this  concern all of us ?

We all probably live in or will be living in residential societies where corruption /misappropriation/ can occur. A typical residential society of 400 apartments can have a fund of 1 crore+. The so called volunteers to selflessly serve the society can have their morals taking long vacation when they smell so much money. This may lead to huge leakage of your cash and dilapidated state of your residential society.  Either you can accept that corruption  citing various reasons ( from lack of time, awareness, intent or chalta hai etc) or will have an urge to fight this disease. Its when you decide to fight, will need to know how to proceed. The path to justice is long and torturous. The officers who tried to prosecute Laloo Yadav spent 17 yrs to send the scoundrel to jail.  You may need to be mentally prepared to fight for months, if not years.  I am already in my 4th month 🙂

How often is this kind of fight done ?

Very rarely.  99.9% of such cases of corruption either go unnoticed or people forget about it. Often they are too lazy to even confront the corrupt. The govt procedures of addressing these crimes is too slow and tests your patience and tenacity to extremes.

Why people do not raise voices ?

Its excruciating to fight against corrupt both at lower and higher levels.    For example, if some scoundrel makes a backdoor entry into society office position, its very tedious to throw the him out. They have society funds to hire legal advisors, crook accountants and 5 to 6 partners in crime. You may have to initially hack it all relentlessly

Why is it difficult to throw scoundrels out ?

Most of the people in societies either are not aware about implications of corruption or take it as a part of their ordinary lives. They seldom rise against the corrupt. most believe, its somebody else’s job to fight corruption. Those who rise against corruption have to fight a machinery ( Administration, Sympathisers of corrupt, security employed and inertia of people ).  The cases of illegal committees ( Folks who get into office without getting elected ) of society offices are not dislodged by Registrars any more. One has to go to Co Operative court to challenge that. Going to court means hiring a co operative lawyer and paying his fee. This is enough to give an ordinary citizen jitters. While the crusader has to pay legal charges from her own pocket, the scoundrels have war chest of maintenance fund at their disposal which they utilize to engage legal advisor, bribe civic officials, forge documents with help of corrupt chartered accountants and circulate false justification using society resources.

Alternate method of throwing  illicit and corrupt committee out is by calling an Extra ordinary general meeting ( EOGM)expressing no confidence against the dishonest and corrupt.

Why  EOGM method  is a difficult thing ?

Calling an EOGM for no confidence requires written signature of 33 % of members  (  As a norm only  less than 25% of resident owners attend society meetings ). This means if you have 100 members in society and you want to throw the corrupt out , while you need 33 signatures, you can only reach out only 25 people. Often out of the 25 active members 10 to 12 may already  be huddled in crime. Further, to boot the corrupt out, you need 2/3rd people voting them out.  This means in a society of 100 apartments, you need 67 people voting out . Or if its permissible 2/3rd of attending members. This means if 25 attend the meeting you need 17 people to vote the corrupt out. If the committee comprises 10 members,  mathematically , it may never happen. Its a scenario like no matter how much you hate Congress and its crimes you cant throw it out for 5 yrs because they manage the floor using Mayas, Mulayams, Karunanidhis and Sharad Pawars.

What is the way out ?

Society is like a cell of democracy and none of the provisions work unless there is large participation from all the owners. With 25% or less voting and participation, crooks invariably win . We, thus have the state of society like that of the nation where the ugliest crooks float to the top. Its important that there is large voting turn out ( >75% ) to select people . Also it must be ensured that only the members who are elected through voting become the office bearers. There needs to be an internal lokpal in all societies with power to suspend Chairmen/President/ Secretary/ Treasurer if there are sufficient grounds for dishonesty , corruption or procedural impropriety.

This is what I have done in my society till date in my fight against corruption :

Its been 3.5 months now since I first started it all.  This is how the pieces on chessboard look like

  1. The accused  still disgrace the office . Few  or many steps away from check mate ( I do not know)
  2. The District Deputy Registrar has requested an  eight point response ( In hard core Marathi even difficult for Marathi professor to understand ) for detailed inquiry to  proceed. This  moved some of my pieces into central square
  3.  The evidences which justify detailed inquiry are ready with me.
  4. The thick skinned refuse to vacate the office. In professional chess, no player waits for the check mate. They resign when they have some irrecoverable disadvantage like a major piece loss or a vulnerability.  However in real life, the shameless till they are driven out with force cling on. Fools die hard, crooks die harder
  5. A lot of paper crimes, dishonesty has been perpetrated example : showing an audit report on a date it didn’t exist.  Falsifying the minutes of meeting of AGM, misusing office staff for personal service, etc. When people who are cheats get caught and are incriminated, they try to be even bigger cheats.
  6. As per Maharashtra Co op act, 15 clear days before AGM, the committee needs to circulate audited books of accounts to the members. The crooks in my society sent unaudited balance sheet and asked for approval for audited report which no one had seen. In layman’s term its like taking an approval of financial crimes without even you knowing that crime has happened
  7.  The counter move from those seeking justice has been to submit a written  request from over 30 residents to Dy Registrar that AGM held was illegal.
  8. Momentum often works against the weak.  Approx 70% of people voting in AGM have given in writing that they  want the corrupt to be dismissed.
  9. The partners in crime have gone into a huddle trying to delay the incrimination. Some stooges croak in between on trivial issues to  divert attention from the main issue of corruption
  10. The society and its residents suffer as the apartments get the least resale and rental values in its area.
  11.  The wheel of justice though slow,  is moving in a right direction to ensure that guilty gets exemplary punishment.

If however you persist with right process there is always hope for justice : Watch Shawshank Redemption  to understand it 🙂

Ray of hope

Keep soldiering

Splitting the expenses and fraud accounting

2 weeks ago, I wrote a post on how people with questionable values lead  to collapse of propriety in a housing society. How it affects the citizen mindset in the whole country.

I had 2 options to deal with this ugly situation :

1. Crib at the errant and ugly behavior of office holders. // Easy and practiced by many.

2. Do some concrete action to restore propriety and my own faith in the system. // Its was as difficult or as instinctive to me as confronting a drunk molester in a running bus. The  story of confronting molester is here

The majority in my society exercised option 1.

The option 2, I exercised put me up fighting against a group of people ensconced and fortified on a hill ( Just like Kargil intruders ). They have a war chest of society resources (  Maintenance money worth lakhs, legal advisors, security, accountants etc)  to harass me.

As always, its unnerving for most individual crusaders to fight the alligators in pond.  A rational man is advised by friends to give up under provocations.

Look at one suggestion from a well wisher on facebook :

Image

I accepted the suggestion to be an Aam aadmi , An aam aadami , today is frustrated with the corruption and willing to take to streets.  Many of the aam aadamis may fail, bleed during the trsyst  but their is light at the end of tunnel.  There are some glorious instances where a single guy brought down an entire army of crooks by following the right path of truth example  J . B Patel of Panchwati society,  Andheri Bombay :http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2012-10-15/news/34473028_1_society-office-bearers-jayant-patel

Even without knowing his inspiring story, I  had gone ahead on the confrontational path.  The following is what I did.

  1.  Filed a complaint with Dy Registrar of society, Pune. Explained how there is a possibility of serious SCAM and immediate inquiry should begin . The inquiry should begin with sacking of office holders.
  2.  Sent a copy to Joint Registrar of Society. He manages Dy Registrar.
  3. Sent an email to CM office of Maharashtra . He forwarded the case to Secretary of state ( Co operatives)
  4. Demanded from office holders full life cycle documents of questionable transactions and a detailed list of bank transactions.
  5. Engaged a top ranking CA to investigate all documents.

Why I did this ?

Sometimes, its easy for accused to bribe/influence/threaten a small officer. Its however, beyond their capacity to buy 3 levels of high officials in the system. I tightened accountability at three levels to prevent this. Further, demanding and getting full lifecycle documents upto the current date leaves very little to accused to manipulate the documents at later stage.

Fraud

What were the results ?

The Ad Hoc committee went vengeful. It complained not against me but against my little startup.

  • Electricity Deptt : Inspectors came, searched my startup, searched my entire home and said, I just need to readjust the tarriff to commercial rate.
  • Corporation license Deptt : Inspector came and told me to get a license to operate business in municipal area. He asked me the intent of why society secretary did a written complaint. I showed him the cases they are embroiled and how even the CM office has acknowledged the complaint. He understood and said, we wont harass you at all.  Apply for a license, it just costs Rs 1000/= he said and we will fully co-operate with you. I smiled and said, I will do it.
  • Police Deptt : Local chowki summoned me to police station. I went with my wife to the police station. I was asked about illegality of my startup in residential area. I showed them Maharashtra IT act of 2010 which allows IT companies to work from residential areas. They didnt ask me any further. Read the blog on how IT companies can legally operate from residential complexes : http://www.wicfy.com/blog/working-from-apartment-is-legal-for-it-companies-startups/
  • Society Security    The Secretary  told the security to harass the employees of startup by. Not letting them park their bikes in authorized parking area.Sometimes they even prevented their bikes from entering the society. They made them to sign register everytime they came in an out of society. 

Thus, the accused were exhausted of their arsenal. The amount of harassment was coming to an end. My business just emerged stronger from all these harassment. The employees rallied around me in these tough situation because I kept everything transparent.  The values I hold, the fight I take and the possible consequences.

Now comes the funniest part.  When, the accused had little to defend themselves, they resorted to dirtiest tricks which crooks in  Govt or Corporate world resort to i.e Splitting of expenses.

Please see the image of response given to me by the Society secretary.

Image

Also, the accused, thinking the residents to be Dumb and weird, appointed their sympathizers to do an investigation and award them a clean chit. Recall how Gadkari had got himself a clean chit by  a person he appointed to investigate his own crimes ?

This also reminded me of my days in central govt.  Procurement in such large organization happens either centrally or locally. There is huge amount of money made by some people at central level but its more interesting at local level

At local levels for any transaction above Rs 5000/= needs a CLPC approval ( Central logistics purchase committee ). This CLPC comprises 3 independent officers and give approvals for any purchase above limit. Also they examine all the quotations.

Now if everything  goes through CLPC How do people at local levels misappropriate public money ?

Ans: Splitting of expenses. Any thing which is to be bought for 9900/= is split in two purchases of 4950/= each and can be bought with or without quotations.  At one stage I saw that there were 350 transactions, all between 4900 and 4999/=. This is how  people with corrupt intent try to loot public money.

I realized that people do not bring in good things of their experience in large systems to the society but ugly , dirty and corrupt practices are rapidly brought in . Even  in such small theater as housing society, this disease of splitting of expenses is brought in. Though the annual budget is as low as 40 lakhs.

Whats the way to rein in such ugly practice?

I consulted the Registrar and he suggested requesting a govt audit of all books of accounts and processes under section 89 of Mah CHS act. This independent inquiry by a govt auditor may reveal a lot more irregularity and doesnt cost much.  For a society its Rs 37/member/year of audit requested.  So for my society of 200 members, it would cost me Rs 7400/= approx.

We had seen creative accounting done by Ramalingam Raju ( Satyam Fame ) and how the reputed CA Pricewater house Coopers was party to crime of splitting salary expenses of ghost employees .  Well that was a 1000 crore + scam and this is worth a few lakhs.  The efforts to expose and prove the crime is more challenging till the accused are thrown out of office.

What will you do if you see such financial misconduct in your society ?

Are you aware that corruption is not just in govt, its a cancer which eats housing societies as well ?

How can you establish a clean system in your society ?

Please do share your experiences of taking the accused head on.

Kundali and other creeps infesting our society

Personal horoscopes or predictions generate some of the most expensive toilet paper I’ve ever seen.”-  Tatiana Estévez , Quora Site Admin:

Tatiana tells why woman love horoscopes in   on Quora – Why-do-women-like-horoscopes .    She says, the primary reason why people go for horoscopes is because people want to lean on hopes and not on their actions. In general, the people who are dissatisfied and unsuccessful in life take a recourse to this .   A    Wikipedia Horoscope article gives a factual treatise on what horoscopes mean.  It furthers  tells the following :  No studies have shown any scientific support for the accuracy of horoscopes, and the methods used to make interpretations are generally considered pseudo-scientific.

Kundali

Matters of faith and belief cannot be debated or rationalized, however   horoscopes  are fast turning in to a major social evil. When I was in school,  I remember going to a Pandit who for a  prospective couple said -” Kundalis ( horoscopes ) do  not match. There is no possibility “. The elderly person, who I was accompanying, flashed a small bundle of Rs 100 notes. The pandit pocketed them, had a relook on the horoscopes and said “13 gunas ( characteristics) match“. The person flashed another bundle of Rs 100 notes. This time the Pandit looked at the horoscopes, with some calculations  he said – “24 gunas match “. This was enough to make the matrimony work. Had he pushed few bundles more probably, 34 gunas out of 34 could have matched.  Its now a common knowledge that astrology is an imprecise practice, amenable to multiple interpretations and that 100s of practitioners can have 100 different interpretations ( Each for a different fee 😉 )

In 90s and early 2000s the size of population doing kundali milaan ( Horoscope matching) was very small.  People looked at family compatibility, ability of groom, beauty of bride, dowry giving capacity of girl’s parents, education, absence of vices, career stability etc to decide matrimonial alliances. King Vikramaditya is said to have married a lot of princesses to increase his kingdom and eliminate hostilities with a lot of kingdoms. He supposedly didn’t consult any kundali kaandu before any of his marriages.  There is no mention of either Rama, Krishna or Shiva ever looking at kundalis of Sita, Rukhmini or Parvati before marriage. I was wondering when and how this practice, myth or misconception took roots in society, especially the Hindus.

I was listening to a conversation in one family where the Groom’s side had gone ahead with basic alliance, exchanged some expensive gifts but later didn’t want to go ahead with the relationship. They were confused, what reasonable excuse should they give for calling off the alliance. It was then, one crooked lady ( The Lalita Pawar kind ) came with a brilliant idea – “Keh do Kundali nahi milee kaam khatam( Horoscopes didn’t match, deal over) “.

Incidentally, I have seen 40+ marriages in my community and in none of them horoscopes were matched.  These marriages have lasted decades and have had necessary harmony a marriage demands.  Primary defendants of this horoscope practice claim that planetary positions at the time and place of birth affect the lives due to gravity and fields. It appears to me  the same horse shit as saying that  magnetic or electric fields can determine whether  you will have a comfortable shit next morning.  Gravity attracts by virtue of  matter contained in masses , electric particles attract due to accumulation of charges, magnetic dipoles attract because of polarization of fields and that what is there to it.  Fields do not decide whether two creatures are going to have  great sex with each other or their other behaviors.

Its unfortunate that this evil is proliferating in  our contemporary society . Yes its that horrible “H” in the BHP ( Biodata Horoscope and photo) which hoards  of educated illiterates ask for when they are considering a matrimonial alliance.  When I or my sister were of marriageable age , we used to get  requests from people asking for  horoscopes. Our straight answer used to be – “We do not believe  in such arcane stuff and have no such thing ready. Please make it yourself  if you wish to. Talk to us only with credentials of the person only when you have none of this  stuff blocking“.

Interestingly, it was reported in media that Aishwarya Rai ( Former Miss world) was married off to a tree before marrying Abhishek Bachchan ( Pappu of Amitabh Bachchan) to ward off Kundali dangers. Beyond public figures, closer in my life, I came across a creature who claims to be educated as an engineer and works in a software company. His family processed the horoscopes for 2 months and found that 33 out of 36 characteristics matched perfectly ( Extremely rare incidence ). They went ahead and did the engagement . The ensuing rituals cost the girl’s side, a few lakh rupees. The date for marriage was fixed 11 months from engagement.   The  bride side spent sizeable amount doing bookings and gifting the boy’s side.  For six months, everything was all right. Suddenly, the guy found that he was not getting  enough  ‘Feeling‘ ( read free and easy sex ) and started pestering the girl . He was insisting to his parents that they call off the engagement. The parents of groom were finding it embarrassing to tell the girl’s family. So much of water had been under the bridge. They still were interested in – ‘How can they do a ‘Saanp bhi marey laathi bhi na tootey‘ ( Kill a snake without breaking the stick ) to exit. There seemed no honorable or justifiable exit route but they desperately wanted one. How did the boy’s side find a clever exit ?

This is pretty interesting. They told the bride side that their Pandit now opines that as per horoscope no marriage is possible on the eariler mutually agreed date. They will have to wait for next 12 months to see if some dates can be found. They were not keen on any remedial measures. When asked if they can still commit to some future date, they said, they were not sure their son could wait for so long and they should reconsider other options…

The questions in this case, then are :

  1. What should be done with people like this ?
  2. How much of exploitation can be done using kundali and Ponga pandits as shields ?
  3. What impact has education and civilization done on such creeps. ?
  4. Do  horoscopes and planetary positions only affect Hindus and have no effect on Muslims, Christians, Sikhs, Parsis or Jews ?
  5. If they do affect then why not every one is riding the horoscope bandwagon ?