I didnt chant भारत माता and I dont

11  years after I hung my uniform as an air force officer. I am trying to remember if I ever chanted “Bharat mata ki jai” when in military. 6 years across 6+ military bases I served, how many times did I chant “Bharat mata jai “?  I  can for sure say I said “Jai Hind” a million times( Average 50+ times a day). But ” भारत माता की जय ” ?  I think  ” ZERO “. This surprises me and may be it will shock 1000s of chaddi nationalists a lot more. At epitome of national service, you do not need to chant this mantra.  I am hopeful, this is not giving an idea to some jerk in Sangh HQ to wake up and destroy the beautiful salutation culture of our glorious armed forces.

Looking back on the day when I was to take oath to defend India with all my vigour even to peril of my life, I had 2 choices

  1. Take oath on Gita or
  2. Just affirm as an individual.

I chose to do affirmation. I didnt swear putting my right hand on Gita or Sita. 22 of my 24 course mates did but I believed that the commitment I make as an individual, in my full conscience and wisdom doesnt need crutch of any religion or book. I was questioned why I wont take oath on Gita though I am a Hindu? I answered that my flavor/vision of Hinduism is not congruent to everything that Gita preaches. My argument was accepted. Imagine doing this in any other religious or theocratic nation, I will be labelled blasphemist and bled to death. To me, this is the most solid idea of India Hinduism and its grandiose सहिष्णुता

Growing up, I thought the God factory in heaven(ऊपर) stopped producing Devis+ Devtas+ Maatas+ Baaps in 560 BC ( After Buddha) but reality is quite different. Today, as I see a lot of irritating jingoism on “Mata” chant. A quick search on  Bharat mata  reveals that it was first conceived in a fictitious play , Bhārat Mātā by Kiran Chandra Bannerjee . It was first performed in 1873. So, in reality is it not just another figment of imagination of this Bhodro (Baangali) playwright during British rule?. Whats so sacred about it?

The story on Bharat mata can be read here

Surprisingly, anyone can add few additional pairs of limbs, put a lion/tiger+ sun halo behind, add one  weapon in each hand, top it up with a mukut and lo, a new deviji / maataji, baapji is created. Practically there is nothing stopping imaginative folks from creating Maratha maata, Patna Maiya, Guntoor Tanni or say JhoomariTalaiya maa. All it takes in this digital age is Photoshop.  Blockheads can claim that not bowing to it is against Nationalism / Regionalism or city / Mohallaism

I agree, “Mata/Mataram” did become a battle cry for some freedom fighters but so did ” Bole so Nihal, Allah u akbar or Har Har mahadev or, Joi ma kaali or Jai Gorkhali or Chak de fatte. Everyone had a choice to pick the battle cry which galvanized folks around to fight a common battle. It was the pluralism of battle cries which allowed folks to win multiple battles and ultimately the war. Every chant served some purpose just as every color contributes to make a rainbow beautiful. Pick your own indigo or orange but dont try to shove your choice of color up somebody’s…. you know what.

I had always been critical of deification of objects in Hinduism. From पाताल (Core of earth) to पेड़(tree) to पृथ्वी(earth) to penis does everything need to be a devta? This 33 Karod devi devta concept never appealed to me but I often liked एकेश्वरवाद  –  एक साधे सब सधे , सब साधे सब जाय.


What do these mata chants have to do with a diverse, multifaith, multi ethnic pluralistic nation like India? What does it have to do with Hinduism other than its crudest form? What objective does this kind of deification handle other than

  1. Oversimplification of some objective to align the  low intellect junta around it?
  2. Create another non taxable revenue stream (Read temples) to help Birlas / Bajajs and other wealthies to run trusts around it to convert black into white and white into silvers?
  3. Celebrate a day with some silly rituals, extort money, eat up calorie bombs, create traffic nuisance and strew the rivers and oceans with a lot of garbage ?

I am not from a religion which prohibits me to bow in front of anybody other than Allah. I am not prohibited to say Jai to anyone.  As a free thinking man, my intellect revolts at mindless and reckless devification. Its utterly obnoxious to have a devata of every kind popping in front of me randomly from anywhere/ anyday expecting genuflection. I just wont do it. If a person like Javed Akhtar transgresses his religious bounds and chants Bharat mata, its his conviction and freedom to do it. If Owaisi doesnt want to say it, shouldnt he have the liberty to do it? Why should someone call him a a pig for it?

Why we debase the profound vedic shloka – जननी, जन्म भूमिश्च , स्वर्गादपि गरीयसी ( Heaven is found in the lap of mother and land of birth). Please note the usage of जन्मभूमि not मातृभूमि

We need to create more robust belief and value system around Nationalism and Hinduism in particular which can stand the onslaught of any critique or rational inquiry. Continuing to believe in ugly dogmas, stupid rituals and irrational beliefs or practicing them makes a mockery of your own intellect and our highly evolved religion.

Advantage Hinduism is: Its not driven by the communication someone received secretly in a cave. It does not shut down free constructive thought(शास्त्रार्थ) . Its not constrained or limited. The buck does not stop at any book. Not even Gita or Ramayana or Vedas can claim to be all encompassive of what Hinduism stands for. Its beautifully non prescriptive religion. It encourages you to be a contemplative and free thinking human. Empathy is what has kept this faith relevant.

आत्मनः प्रतिकूलानि परेषाम न समाचरेत.

If you wont like someone else’s ideology/faith thrust on you, do not thrust yours on them. If Hinduism could survive 600 yrs of murderous Islamic rule and 200 yrs of missionary lure, it can very well withstand ugliness emerging from within, in form of Sakshi maharajs, Amit Shahs or Muttaliks. We can evolve, we can mutate, we can create new releases, versions of our faiths, we need not create more gods, more maatas and baapas.

Recently, I was evaluating a very large enterprise software (U$ 100 Mn+ type )  for redesign with a project sponsor.  She told me – “ Everybody added a lot of crap on this software whenever they felt like but no one bothered to clean it up ever. So what you see is a lot of junk all around which makes little sense “ .. Same I believe is the case with Hinduism as a religion. Everybody when they felt like added their bit of crap, no body ever cleaned it up. So here we are with a lot of junk.

If you wish to start on some introspection of Hinduism as a faith, a good point to begin may be here :




Asaram and enjoying general body pleasures without consent or approval

The girl is suffering from a chronic mental state which draws her close to the men ” farted out the great Ram Jethmalani trying to defend his client Asaram. Read the defense

Asaram, the revered Guru fell from grace and is in jail now for raping a girl. It has come out that he raped not only one complainant but myriad others too.

Lets look at this perspective from Asaram’s angle and analyze this incident with respect to other crimes people in certain honorable positions do . ( Previous posts on fraud accounting by splitting expenses)


  1.  Enjoying faith and respect out of sainthood :  Asaram  enjoys a following because of his beard, long hair, sanskrit mantra he chants.  Masses can hear those mantras but can barely understand them . There are some  souls around us who grow long hair, repeat how great and holi company they work in. They chant Baaai laaaa..j which you have never read or will never have time to read.  Beware of these wolves around. In India, we are conditioned to respect those who look like sadhus but respect should be given on behavior. Read this
  2.  Stooges and chants on Acts of good faith : Asaram has greed, lust and arrogance because of his large following. There are and were his stooges who treat/ treated him like god’s incarnation. They feel its their Dharma to defend all his Kaam + Karma. The group around Asaram believed, the charges against him were false, baseless, of malafide intent. The charges were driven by a hidden agenda of the girl because the girl wanted to do something illegal and unauthorized or become famous. At one point Asaram claimed he cant rape because he cant have erections ( The potency test got the snake out of the hole ).  Some real wise men told the girl that going open with charges against Asaram will have ” HUGE REPERCUSSIONS “, the girl will be destroyed. You will have similar people in your society who are equivalent. These when talked about the misconduct of criminals will say , “We trust him “,  “Reporting this will have repercussions” and finally without getting the facts declare that – “X has done an act of good faith, he is a jolly good fellow “. One person said, its irregularity but not criminality.

This Act of good faith is what amuses me most and I want to discuss this deeper in this article.  Advocate Jethmalani is trying to build a theory that the girl was in a great need to get Bapu’s proximity.  Bapu was always benevolent , he figured out this particular girl and many others who needed his bodily blessings. He wanted to do Uddhar for the girl. Bapu also believed that he didnt need the consent of general body of the girl( Or even her general mind) to go ahead with the act.  Bapu was convinced that once he is done with his act, he will be able to justify the little cost and benefits of rape to the girl for approval . She will keep quiet. In fact many girls have kept a total quiet.  The gratuitous act done by Bapu in his opinion and opinion of his stooges has cured the hapless girls of all the biggest problem they were having in their lives.

We now know where the great Bapu has landed up with his great assumptions, convictions and where the stooges defending will end up.

Now I show you the excerpt of justification given in  writing to the Deputy Registrar of societies , Pune , by the Chairman of my society. This was in response to the complaint I submitted for spending 2.75 lakhs on CCTV where we gave an approval of 75K only.


Now, consider the General body of my society as that girl. The girl probably gave consent to let the Bapu put his fingers on her head. What Bapu with his fingers did, is now a matter of criminal investigation. What  consent girl gave and what Bapu  does have a difference of 4x and above.  There is little to guess whether it was benign to girl or gratuitous to his great HOLI libido.

The well wishers of Bapu are screaming hell on the girl who was raped.  The dharmadhikaris are  shouting, this will damage the fabric of sainthood. Somebody just said that its hidden agenda of Congress to malign the great Swamis. There are some monkeys who are jumping up and down not on the lecherous act of Bapu but on unsubstantiated  nymphomania of the girl . There are stooges who are attacking the police officers who are fighting to prosecute the rapist Bapu.

I have experienced this kind of babagiri in very close proximity.  Just like Bapu’s sympathizers some sympathizers are asking me why I am raising these issues of corruption in my society now?

There is a time for everything.  Its important for people to understand facts, take sides  and understand the wolverines

B’day celebrations expiry date: ‘Best before 30yrs’

We as humans are sometime so much driven by peer pressure into rituals and celebrations that we loose track of rationale of doing it. Let us take birthday celebrations. Earlier when medical systems were not advanced enough, an infant surviving mortality was an achievement. Pneumonia, Polio, Malaria or epidemics used to kill in large #s Thus every time scale conquered (1st day, 6th day, 1st month, 1st year) was a cause de célèbre . E ach year of survival was a cause to celebrate life and hence probably, the culture of Birthdays. The ritual done in childhood continued till adolescence , then to adulthood and finally till old age. There are some birthdays which are celebrated even after a person has died. Funny.

 If we look at the way birthdays are celebrated, the feeling is more grotesque. Children dress up like clowns, balloons are hung. Lights are blown away (Extinguishing fluttering candle light is often symbolic of a soul struggling and finally leaving human body). This then should mean that on you 30th birthday 30 units of soul have left you( Blown away by you). There are people clapping and singing and you should feel happy (??). Happy about loosing life and singing the stupid Birthday song in English irrespective of your linguistic skills. Then they rub that cake on to your face to start consuming some of the unhealthiest food on earth. Whipped cream topping (100% fat), sugared bread ( Very High calorie), Samosas( Deep fried), Soft drink( Every 100 ml contains 10 ml of sugar). Its not good when you are a kid and dangerous if you are an adult with a desktop job.

If we look at the age perspective, childhood gives you the onus to grow ( gain independence) , teenage prepares you to puberty( Be able to reproduce) , Early 20s give you a path to reach peak of your physical strength and capacity. Biologically you are at peak when 25. Then you are on a plateau and you start dreading what each year of age does to you physically. Sporadic greys start appearing on head, hairlines start receding, balding often sets in . After 30 every year you loose 2.5 % of your bone mass and 3.5% of muscle. Cavities in teeth need occasional filling. You tend to be moving from: Running to Jog to walk now. Forgetting becomes more frequent than remembering .Does this call for Happy birthdays ?

If yes ,be the clown and jump like clown, distribute sweets. If  No, reassess!!!! Birthday celebrations are best before you hit 30. Life on the other side of 30s is not that great unless you make real extra efforts. Think !!!!!

God’s variable pay

God’s variable pay should be linked to monsoons in Q2s



There are 2 things which trigger this thought: 1) All across the world , no body can take a portion of their pay as granted and 2 ) God has been very inconsistent in delivering what its supposed to with consistency 


Let me explain my seemingly indignant proposals.

The first Question is  : Does God have a pay ? and if he does, then does he have a fixed and variable component ?

 If we think deeper God gets a lot from her (Using ‘Her’ to be politically correct) devotees. Lets  see the various forms it takes.

  1. There is cash and loads of it every moment coming to her. The cash register is not often accounted for .It pours in form of currency notes and predominantly coins.
  2. There is kind and its multiple forms. The manifestations are :
    1. Milk
    2. Sweets
    3. Flowers
    4. Clothes
    5. Fragrances
    6. Other food Stuff
    7. Precious metals ( Gold , silver etc)
  3. Credit  :  They rain in multiple forms :
    1. Cheques
    2. Donations
    3. Pledge against wishes/successes / wins
  4. Life : Sacrificing human /animal lives in return of wishes
    1. Bakras (Goats)
    2. Kids
    3. Buffalos etc
  5. Real estate : This is the biggest emolument and comprises :
    1. Huge Temple /Mosque / Churches/ City ( Vatican,Mecca)
    2. Roads, wells, Caves, etc    Here , the different endless manifestations may crop up but to keep the long story short , I will come to a more significant one .
  6. Time : This can vary from :
    1. Prayer minutes every day
    2. Meditation hours everyday
    3. Fasting days/ week
    4. Devotion months/year
    5. Worshiping years/life and
    6. Lives/community or family dedicated to her

The above 7 ( not yet exhaustive ) establish beyond doubt that god does have a pay  . Some part of it is fixed like daily prayers, Prasad etc. There is a very large Variable pay which is linked to meeting aspirations of devotees. Like If I pass , I put a Prasad of Rs 501. If the ailing son recovers , I build a temple etc. Having established both we must rationalize how the variable pay should be controlled.

Monsoons have lot of bearing on the happiness and prosperity of people in country like India.  Ideally upto  80 %  or less monsoon , the variable pay should be zero. Between 81% to 99 %  she should get  pay in proportion to percentage. Between 100 to 115 % he may like to get double the difference over 100% i.e for 110% monsoon he may get 120% variable pay. Beyond 115 % , i.e causing floods there should be penalty.  These are my initial thoughts . What are your thoughts ?

Passing thoughts :