Death of Rs 500/1000 notes in my wallet

I am a big fan of “Animal farm ” written by George Orwell. This possibly is the best book ever written to understand ugly politicians. If you have read the book you will relate to the current currency scam. If not, a quick intro will help.  One of the characters in book which always makes me laugh is “Boxer ”

Boxer -> A loyal, kind, dedicated, extremely strong, hard working, and a respectable cart-horse who by IQ is a donkey. He is a Bhakt of wicked pig king Napoleon, who rules the farm, exploits him and animals perennially. Boxer however  always holds the belief that Napoleon is always right.One day he realizes the ugliness of his king Napoleon, but its too late, he is caged,in a close truck and on the way to slaughter house ready to be killed.//

Another interesting character is  -> Squealer – A small, white, fat porker who serves as wicked king’s second-in-command and minister of propaganda. He mixes with animals and misguides them that everything King is doing is for their good.  There is an example of squealer later in the post 😉

Please do read this book its hilarious.. i thanks Kuldeep Singh for recommending it to me.

There are 1000s of such Boxer bhakts on social media today who feel “Modi  is always right ” . We must not blame them, we cant awaken them. Their faith in Modiji is as strong as Madarsa dude’s  in Quran or Sharia. Metaphorically, the Boxer Bhakts are  in dream or delirium of different elusive 72 virgins ( Achchhe din, Akhand Bharat extending to Afghanistan and Tibet).  We can only pity them or laugh at these boxers as they move to slaughter house of cess and torture of inconvenience.

Let me try to pose some questions :

  1.  Who is the governor of RBI now ?……    Cant tell? ….. Why ? Few months ago you could always tell ?  Why is a non descript impotent person an RBI governor now ?boxers         ( What you see in this post is a Squealer and irrelevance of RBI governor)
  2. Was this kind of currency Harakiri possible, had assertive Rajan been in the place ? // He was not a Yes sir, yes sir 3 bags full, all for YOU  kind of man… Was he removed to facilitate this mammoth scam..
  3. What was the safeguard against passing on such  impactful and drakonian orders to businessmen/ groups who are bed fellows of Bhajapia ministers ? // Dont you already know the folks from whose hands our PM eats out off  or Mr Gadkari enjoys Cruise ship trip in Europemukesh_ambani_modi-pti                                         (Dont tell anyone else but start wrapping up )
  4.    Will Modiji declare the source of estimated 15,000 Crores black money he spent to win 2014 elections ? // Sushma Swaraj was the first politician crying bucket of tears to Chief Information commissioner pleading to not include her party spendings under RTI .. they came to power, partially riding the hatred for Congis and decidedly riding enormous marketing juggernaut.
  5.  After that allegedly bogus and unsubstantiated “Furgical Strike” allegedly destroying  so many alleged terror camps, why the soldiers are dying everyday at Borders ? Wasnt there a better alternative to divert public attention from incompetence to handle border, Kashmir problem and fake surma Bhopali encounter?

Read more

11 things which made me love my rail journey

 Over the last 15 months, I have stayed away from my family.  I must have made 17+ trips from Bangalore to Pune. Most of them were flight journeys in low cost carriers. Very soon, I started hating these flight journeys. The primary reasons were a) Cheaper red eye flights made me miserable on the next days b) Bangalore airport is horribly far off and city traffic+ taxi cost gave me heart burns.. c) I hate being frisked..
Trains mostly showed waitlist for tickets , so I started traveling in KSRTC ac buses . These buses are faster than the trains (Some guys tell me that a politician runs a bus service and he is blocking moves to acquire land which can make train journey between Bangalore and Pune an overnight one). The legroom and claustrophobic sleeper buses never gave me a pleasurable travel experience.
This time I decided to try train and approx a month ago, booked a 2 AC  ticket in Sampark Kranti express.  I didnt expect the experience to turn out to be so good. Here are the things which have changed beautifully.
I landed up at  Yeshwanthpur station of Bangalore for my train to Pune by train.  I noticed the following :
 
1.  No garbage no stink :Every 20 feet or so , I saw a stainless steel garbage bins. People were not throwing garbage here and there. All used wrappers of toffee, biscuits were finding its way into bins
 
2. Shine on the floors : The floor of railway platform shone with a gloss. It was as good and clean as Bangalore  international airport and much cleaner than dilapidated Pune airport. 
 
3. Automation on the roll : As I wondered how the platform is so clean, I saw a person sitting on cool  motorized platform cleaning vehicle do a round. The mops below his vehicle were polishing the platform floor and in 1 hour,I saw him sweep twice i.e  30 minutes frequency. When we make the dirt work easier and classy, work gets done better 🙂
It looks like this :
1818739
 
4. Dignity of work : Most of the cleaning staff  were wearing good uniform with agency name. This, I think, makes the cleaning staff feel good about themselves. The dignity of cleanliness as a profession has been restored.
 
5. Awesome Beverages :  I often hate the railway chai but in the compartment as the Chai guy gave a call, I thought I will ask for a coffee. I was wondering whether it will be anything like coffee. The guy showed me Nescafe Cappuccino premix.It cost Rs 30/=. but it tasted great. // In flights I often buy it for Rs 100/=
 
6.  Impeccable washrooms : When I went to wash room, I saw it specklessly and clean. It had stainless steel paneling and it shone. The wash basin had good Jaquar fittings, flush worked effectively.  Not only the washroom had a good working fan, it also had an exhaust fan.
 
7.Bio toilets : This train has bio toilets which means turds do not fly all over the railway track // Great thing that  a joke that India’s railway tracks are the world’s biggest toilet will soon become memories of past .indian-trains-cover-image-1024x576
Actually it looks even better than the image shown and yes I also noticed a deodorizer in the wash room.
8. Charging points :  The mobile laptop charging point worked perfectly and it let me work efficiently using my hotspot. In fact , this blog has been fully written in train 
Bonus points
 
9. Luxurious upholstery : The upholstery for seats looks luxurious brown. As I ran my hand on it, it felt great.
 
10. Round the clock cleanliness : The train is covered under OBHS (Onboard Houskeeping service) which means highest degree of hygiene. I  saw full instructions for the housekeeping staff pasted  near the washrooms and phone numbers of officers to get in touch if the hygiene goes bad. 
11. Standard branded food : We all have cribbed about food in Railways.. and I was skeptical that I should order. I asked the Steward who is cooking and where is he from. He replied that food is coming from Comesum. I am waiting in anticipation for good food as well..
PS: I have heard horror stories about how Tatkal scheme doesnt work and Diwali rush for tickets is killing. I booked the ticket for 27th Oct on 26th and got it  First time right without a glitch using my IRCTC wallet..
This is my best travel experience between Bangalore to Pune  and I will be travelling in trains more often. I strongly encourage you to experience OBHS covered trains, its the new shining India for middle class 🙂

Adventures of Sukkha Bhai

Sukkha Bhai or Sukda(सुकड़ा) is an emaciated dude who runs a Chai tapri in my mohalla.
He looks something like this  (Indicative picture from Google)
11190957_1563242973920463_1228483010_n
Last week, he wokeup to see a few guys from Gangs of Muhammadpur all around him.  He was humiliated, caned and badly beaten by those teenagers. The gang had come on behest of Hasina Katrina.  Sukda was bruised and limped  for over a week. He was burning with desire of revenge. The flashpoint came when Laila( मोहल्ले की छम्मक छल्लो ) mocked his manhood – “सुकडू , तेरा खून कब खौलेगा रे ? “
Today, suddenly he was  चौड़ा ..
I : You seem to be beeming today.. क्या बात है
Sukkha : Today, I did the impossible
I: WTF have you done?
Sukkha : Last night, in a special act, I went inside Katrina’s bungalow, banged her for six hours.  “Significant damage किया ” and came back without even a scratch. I do not intend to do it again. कह के लिया, गेम खल्लाश
I : You breached the hi profile security, cameras, burglar alarms didnt go off, dobermans didnt bark, Muhammadpur gang turned a blind eye for six long hours, you did this outrageous thing,  didnt  she resist? Were the security folks also sleeping? How did you manage all this?Sukday ! Can you show me some evidence or proof so that I can believe your?
Sukkha (Goes mad) : How dare you ask me for evidence and proof. You mistrust a braather.
Friends of Sukkha : If Sukkha reveals how he did the impossible, will it not reveal all the divine skills, technique he used to penetrate the wall, invisibly going inside, doing the acts and finally making a claim. Entire Mohalla is celebrating the exploits of our Sukhhkad. We are doing Dhinkachika and if you are a sachcha Mohalla waasi, you should also shake-a – bum-bum.The symbol of Bombay
I : But, Katrina says nothing of this sort happened. She has shown her place to folks, there is little evidence to show she was touched, let alone banged.. Yes, she says some manchala had done a seeti to her Bai but nothing beyond that..
Sukkha and Friends ( YELLING NOW) : You infidel, ugly cynic rationalist,#$@$!@$@$ you Dont you have any empathy for your bahadur bhai who risked his life? Why do you need a bloody proof ????? She is lying. She got the lesson of her life. You ugly porky, cant understand this… ” YOU – WAIT AND WATCH”. There is no proof that Sukkha’s assault is fake. The onus is on Katrina to prove that nothing happened.. As far as we are concerned, we do not mistrust our holi cow oorf Sukkha.. We dont need to provide proof, you have to trust your braather..
I left the place as it was futile to make Sukkha and his patta-khor sukhda gang to see some sense in my question.
As I was leaving,  I noticed some crumpled tissue papers on floor and desiporn open on Sukkha’s lapop    [ To be continued]

The melting of right thumb

 On either side of Indo -Pak border nowadays is being  cooked propaganda . The one that makes the respective govt look sexier..On India side, the factory of lies is made to make Modi ji look like a Rambo PM (which he is not) , on the Paki side its designed to make General Raheel Sharif look like Napoleon ( Which he cant be).
Let dissect the state, find its genesis and take the gas out of uber blown intestines of propaganda spreaders.
In my objective view, both may be  compulsively lying or telling half truths or exaggerating facts to further vested interests..

The truth is : Somewhere in between..

Media (Both electronic and print) is a whore. Its fueled by massive ad budgets of Govts ( 1000s of Crores of front page ads) but I am sad to see that Army  Officers ( Holi cows) are being used as tool to spread falsehood. Lets look at the philosophical angle to understand it and what else can be a better reference than the biggest epic of war- Mahabharata..
In the middle of the battle, Pandavs realized that they cant get better of their own warrior Guru Dronacharya. He was inflicting heavy damage to Pandavs after Duryodhan insulted him of lacking motivation to fight  his favorite pupil Arjun.
dronacharya_by_saryth
 Krishna ran out of ethical ideas to rein in Drona whose battle focus was immaculate.. The only way to get better of him was .. not to attack him physically but attack his brain.. Krishna was big schemer.. and here is the wicked plot he cooked:
“Drona loves his son Ashwatthama.  He is currently in jungle. If somehow we can fool Drona and convince him that his son is dead,  he will be heart broken and mentally upset . His inability to focus on war thereafter will break his defense. Thats the time Arjun’s arrows will find him. I suggest going to forest, finding an elephant, naming it Ashwatthama and then killing it. A convoluted announcement from a person Drona finds credible will do the trick.”
Why do all this ?  
Everyone in Pandav camp because of jumlas and lies had lost their credibility. The only compulsively truthful person was Yudhisthir and the belief was that he wont lie under any circumstances. Krishna approached him with a proposal of not telling a lie but this half truth. The announcement he was expected to make was
अश्वथामा हथो वा नरो कुंजरो ( Ahwathama has died, it may be an elephant or a human) .// Something like, we crossed the border and inflicted significant casualties, they may be terrorists or soldiers
Yudhisthir had objection to this also. He didnt want to be perceived clearly as a liar even in retrospect. So Krishna offered to get 100s of nagaadabajs to play  loud BANG – BANG when the twisty elephant/human words get spoken. The only thing Drona would hear is : Ashwatthama dead. This was the first honesty- integrity compromise by Yudhisthira.  The trick worked and next day Dronacharya was arrowed to death by Arjun.
Now coming back to claim of Surgical strikes jingoism, the nagaadas are our paid media.  The ministers of Modi ji are Jumlebaaz Pandavs whose pronouncements Indian citizens  do not trust. The forest is border across LoC  and the Ashwatthama killed may not be the terrorists claimed to be killed but monkeys or mosquitoes.
 We the citizens are Dronas and the literal “killing” here is killing our aversion to the distrust in govt.. ..  The drums being played may be the Bhaktards, moles or paid agents on social media.
 Apart from the desired outcome of killing Drona, the Dharmaraj who spoke fabricated  truth  figured out later that the thumb on his right hand had melted away.
The DGMO guy from army and the MEA guy  and who claimed the “Surgical Strike” during press conference, should in my view, should have a take care of their RIGHT thumb.
Many gullible Dronas amongst us may have already succumb..

Mrs India and the Rascal

Mr G India is on a romantic road, walking hand in hand with his beautiful wife.. They have been married for 2 yrs now . 
lovers-walk
 
Suddenly a rascal appears from behind. He hugs his wife (Mrs India) and then starts smooching her. Its not one but 17 solid smooches in 3 minutes all over.. There are more things Mr Rascal is doing but I wont go into those graphic details just for now.. 
 
Mr India is embarased. He wonders, what can he do ?
 
He knows that this Rascal, in his pocket, has a “Lambi gun“.
 
Mr India also has a gun in his pocket. Its definitely a “Bigger gun” and he is aware of it . He inserts his hands in pocket and pulls out.
 
He starts shooting, the rascal ….. not with his gun but with his iPhone 7. The 12 MP dual rear camera with telephoto lens vividly starts capturing the video. Mr India will include this in a Dossier of proof he will show to the Rascal after he is done with the act.
 
Needless to say, Mr India had also shared with Rascal, the videos of previous occasions when Rascal had smooched/ kissed and .. his wife. Its another story that Rascal demanded that he should  visit Mr India’s home and see all the areas of Mrs India’s body where there are evidences of assault i.e  love bites, bruises etc.
Mr India obliged to this request. Rascal came to India house.. did a deep inspection on Mrs India’s body. He said nothing at their house but after he went back, he declared that, the love bites, bruises on Mrs India’s body were all staged.. These a result of violent love making by Mr India himself.
 
Coming back to current molestation, Mr India  has disengaged Mr Rascal and has captured some cognizable evidences. Having done the ceremonial “CONDEMN” of Mr Rascal, he plans to make MMS of this incident and make it go viral. This will help him get condom (oops) “CONDEMN” from all the rich phamous and powerFools …..
 
The biggest dilemma of Mr India is :
 
If he confronts the molester head on, Rascal’s best friend Mr China may screw him from behind. Mr India currently doesn’t have capability to handle dual assault. His fight doctrine says, he can only handle one assault at a time..  Fight can only be with either Mr Rascal or Mr China, not both together . Apart from this, confrontation time means Mr India cant open his grocery shop and that means losing money ( A big crime for Mr Grocer India’s value system)
 
So as of now , the best course of action for him is to :
a) Cry loudly … keeping the tail nicely tucked between the legs.
 
b) Do all the talks : Something like, I will deal with Mr Rascal at the time of my chosing // This means people should not keep asking him how he avenges molestation of his beautiful wifey ..
 
c) Isolate Mr Rascal:  Get him named as a habitual molester or rapist of worst kind. Whatever is possible 😉 // At time of writing, the pet dogs of  Mr India have begun dancing/ celebrating the hints of some Phamous pholks isolating Mr Rascal. For example Mr and Mrs P  Russia have decided not to attend the party Mr Rascal has planned towards end of this month ..  

11 ways to respond to Murder of 17 soldiers in URI ( BJP ishtyle)

Uri in J&K  has seen the murder of 17 Indian soldiers. The citizens of India now seek affirmative action, if not revenge.  However, here are the 11 ways  Bhajapiyas have historically handled Pakistani issues and terror attacks. The well thought out strategy works like this
Updating the status a week after attack with prefix 24/9

Read more

How habits drive designers to create bad design for touch devices

I recently visited my favorite designer’s portfolio and was aghast that he too was making an avoidable error in designing for mobile. A normal user will find nothing wrong with design below:

mobile-app

As a designer or common user can you spot what usability problem the designer has created?

NO ?

Think hard ? Still not getting it ?

Now lets see the context of using this app .

rita

This persona say Rita, 24 ( 155cm tall )  is trying to book a bus ticket on the GO. Most likely she is in a crowded space. She is holding the mobile in her right hand.and a shake in another.

What really happens ?

She struggles to tap the top area of mobile .

Why am I so harsh in defining the usage scenario ?

If the strength of a chain is the strength of its weakest link, then usability of an app is only as good as how it works in its most demanding situation.

Chain.png

So in a tough scenario, this is how women like to use their phone.

singlehand.png

Why does single hand usage matter ?

Have a look at the regions of cellphone Rita’s thumb can reach below.

Its tough for Rita to reach the top zones to tap with her thumb.

ergonomics of hand.png

Also, the red zone keeps getting bigger as she moves to bigger phones like iPhone 6s ( On far right)multidevices

Why do our designers and developers make this mistake ?

Most of us non Arabic folks start to read our books from top left and move to right and then down.

This habit persisted in the way we designed our web. We kept the most significant content near top left.

So, most forms have first field (And most important trigger on Top left).  This worked satisfactorily as mouse cursor was not anchored or tethered to bottom right just like a right hand. A flick, often got the pointer on top left.

This however is next to impossible for Rita to tap on top right with her thumb in one hand grip.

How does she handle it ?

She loosens her grip on the phone, tries to push the top of phone down ( Or moves her grip up ). During this instant, the phone is very loosely held. A small shake, push or lapse of control and the phone crashes on ground, breaking the USD 70 screen.

What is the way out ?

  1. Be conscious of the areas Rita can tap(green zones). Put all important tappable actions in that green area.
  1. Let only some tappable actions spill over to difficult zone ( Orange)
  1. Utilize the inaccessible areas for displaying information which aids user to decide the tappable action. Use red zone as display areas.
  2. Create a set of  design templates which act a a visual guide to designers for placing various visual elements

What is the conclusion ?

When designing for touch devices, break free from the book  or web screen mental makeup and be very conscious of placing tappable actions in the green zones .

What is the moral of story ?

Look at mobile and touch based apps from a different angle of human ergonomics than what you do for web.